Ready to quit

[5thaday]

As I'm writing this I'm on beer number 14. It's funny, but I bought beer earlier tonight because I felt like having a so-called 'light' drinking night. Since beer has a greater liquid volume, I don't drink as much as I would if I were drinking another type of alcoholic beverage. I had a revelation- 14 drinks is a light drinking night! I'm seriously scaring myself with how indifferent my body seems to take this stuff. I will probably wake up tomorrow without a hangover (I haven't had one in about 6 years). If the booze made me feel ill I'd be better off, believe me. I've had nothing but success in my career, I'm in great shape, so this doesn't help- it makes it so much harder to quit. But if I don't, I suspect that my body will give out at some point in mid-life. Sorry to rant like this, but it gets really frustrating dealing with this stupid addiction, as I'm sure many of you know. As an aside, I'm working on my freaking doctorate degree and spend a great dea of time engaging in serious, rational inquiry, yet no matter how much I reason to myself that I shouldn't drink anymore, withou fail I find myself blasted in a short span of hours. Very scary.

[Bella]

Ready to quit

Oh 5thaday you sound so fed up. this is very hard and we all spend so much time telling ourselves how awful we are. giving ourselves hell for this abuse. But, the fact that you are scaring yourself means you do want to take a different route. Set yourself a plan of action when you feel better. And keep talking to us. It helps to know that you are not alone. Love Bella xxxx

[ModerationNow]

Ready to quit

Hi 5th,
I so know what you mean. I'm a big beer drinker myself and it scares me how much I can put away without a hangover (although I do get hangovers when I have absolutely overdone it, say 16 beers or so). When I still lived in Germany, it was "normal" to drink a lot of beer. Heck, beer is still cheaper than soda there and it is not considered an "alcoholic" beverage but a thirst quencher. There was no stigma attached to drinking beer, even in the streets anytime of the day. When I came to the USA, I was surprised that one can't just crack open a bottle of beer in public. I felt like an alcoholic for the first time in my life when I came to the states because it was such a stigma...Well, the worst of it is that when you feel guilty, you tend to do it even more...So, I drink beer to excess (because if I don't, people still look at me funny if I "only" drink 2 in the middle of the day, something that is normal in Germany). Of course, that isn't a great excuse and I am trying very hard to keep my beer consumption down to "only" 4 a day. Sometimes I'm successful, sometimes I'm not. I must say that I feel a lot better about myself when I can stick to my personal limit. I hate myself when I go past the 4 beers (and that is even too much for a woman but it's a start)...So, I know what you are going through.
Oh, and like you, I like to have a lot of 'liquid", I have never been a hard liquor person, not even a mixed drink or wine person (although I will have wine or champagne during special occasions but I get "wasted" too quickly with the "harder" stuff because I drink everything like it is water).

[Lorelei]

Ready to quit

5thaday

I know what you mean about spending time in rational, serious inquiry and then doing something irrational like drinking too much. I am a materials chemist for a consulting firm and spend most of the dat involved in serious rational thought. Part of me thinks that the couple days a week I get wasted is a reward for focusing so hard during the day. As it turns out I don't really focus well on the days after I get wasted....

Out of curiosity in what field are you getting your doctorate?

-Lorelei

[bestlifeldms]

Ready to quit

Hi 5th, and welcome!

Amazing, how many brilliant professional minds get caught in this alcohol trap! Have you read the book, 7 weeks to sobriety? It is mentioned in the "What we are reading" section. Check the book out on the internet, and when you do, look at the section, the difference in drinkers. I think you will find it interesting.

It's quite disturbing how the body builds a tolerance to alcohol when young but as we age it has sinister effects on us. I am 54 and believe me, things deifnately begin to change down the road.

I hope you will stick around. You will find good information and kind and supportive people. It really amazes me that you are such a good typist after 14 beers! Hang in there on the doctorate. Our oldest just finished hers.

:welcome:

Best

[5thaday]

Ready to quit

I appreciate all the advice. Incidentally, I have decided to make another crack at going AF and am currently on Day 3. Aside from some minor sleep disturbance and mild shakiness the first day, I haven't had any major withdrawal symptoms. I find reading about other people's experiences here helpful, although I am not planning on abstaining via medication or supplements. Several years ago I quit a nasty nicotine addiction cold turkey, and although I recognize that I may be more attached to alcohol, a large part of me has not lost confidence that I can beat this thing through willpower, notwithstanding a major period of adjustment. I'm really glad that despite all my years of excessive drinking, I have managed to maintain a regular exercise program and good dietary habits, so things could be a lot worse.

[ScoobyDoo]

Ready to quit

5th... congratulations on day 3. You sound determined and I do believe with the right support that willpower can work.

I drop in here daily for support, community and reinforcement. I also use the drink tracker. These tools and many of the other tools this site offers really does help!

Welcome aboard and hope to see you posting more!

Scooby