So hard to do what you know you have to

[5thaday]

This post is a total vent, but what the hell. To give everyone and idea of how hard it is for me to quit drinking, I feel sharing the particulars of my day might help (although I'm not implying that my situation is unique). I got up today, hadn't had a drink in 3 days, went to the gym, ate well all day, felt great. Then, around 7pm the cravings began. I postponed drinking for a solid 2 hrs, right up until I knew I only had about 30 min before the liquor store closed (I live in Canada- fuckin' LCBO!!). In any case, as I was debating whether or not to drink, I honestly came up with a whopping 27 reasons not to drink, but the next thing I knew, I was walking out of the liquor store with wine and vodka. Now, after drinking all night (a bottle of wine and a pint of vodka) I feel stupid. What the hell is it with this stuff!!! I have no other vices except booze! Very depressing.

[Kitty]

So hard to do what you know you have to

Hi 5thaday,

I can't tell you how many late night dashes I've made to the off licence, I've even left it with minutes to go and ran down the road with a coat over my pj's.

Alcohol can be a wicked thing, someone here said that it pretends to be your best friend but I think that for those of us who cannot control our drinking it really is our worse enemy.

You'll find some wonderful poeple with great insight into our problems so stick around and read loads of posts.

Good luck and :welcome:

Kitty

[satori]

So hard to do what you know you have to

Hi 5th

I can relate totally!

Even after around 3 months here, and doing well - I was standing at a bar, totally, 100 percent intending to to order a soft drink.
When the bar tender asked what I wanted - I ordered beer.

Weird - tricky stuff to escape!

It does get better with time tho'

Satori

[abevel]

So hard to do what you know you have to

Maybe my story will heop. Me too, would run late at night or waiting first thing for the store to open for my days fix. Then, I got to the point that it just didn't tast good anymore. cleaned up on my own, and seven months later found out i had chirossis of the liver. I nearly fainted. I have two boys and a wonderful husband, how was i to drop this bomb on them. i felt like a failure for sooooo many years and they were elated when they realized i had quit. it took them about three days. my youngest told me i could never stop. i returened with, WATCH ME! Well it's a good thing i did because before i could in to a liver specialist i had end liver disease. death or transplant only options. i had a transplant three weeks ago and feel great now.m Please put that bottle down and just think what the end results could have been. I hope you have encouraging people around you. and i wish you the very best of luck. oh, by the way the reason the alcohol didn't taste good anymore, because to liver wasn't processing anything.

an

[Sante]

So hard to do what you know you have to

Abevel,
Your story is really scarey, but how fortunate you were able to get a transplant. Do you mind my asking, what prompted you to go to the doctor in the first place. How does a person know if they might have cirhosis of the liver? Is it possible to have it and for it not to be detected in a routine physical exam or blood test?
I'm only asking because I've drunk abusively for 30+ years...