Hello,
I know we all have stories. And it seems to me, that they are often VERY similar. i think alcholism is much more than people realize. I have been living in denial for many many years. I do think that like many of us, i have the heritary gene. My grandpa on my moms side and his brother were hard core alcholics. The uncle was a minister and he when he needed to "dry up', he would lock himself up in the basement and tell everyone not to let him out no matter what he screamed out. I guess he had the dt's!! He also would drink and then hold it, trying not to trow up, so that he could get the buzz. YUck!!
My story begins like this. i had a few bad throw up incidents in high school. BAck then, it seemed funny and many of my friends did it too. As I went to college, we would party hardy. We went to spring breaks and i was in bikini contest that i won, only that i would not get up there unless i was pretty buzzed up! Liquid confidense. I was still funtional in Colleget though. I would stay up studying all week long unil sometimes 2 am, just so that when Friday hit, i could be the party queen!! It all worked too. I graduated and became a RN. I met my husband in college and we boht partied and smoked pot. When i became a nurse and we had two wonderful sons, i decie3d to give up the weed and cut down on the drinking. This did lead to my divorce in the end. My huusband becamce very violent. He bagan to punch holes in the walls and i knewn i mjight be next. during one of our fightes, my little toddler came out of the bedroom and sied, Mommy, whats wrong? I knew that was it and i filed for a divorce. I had a 1 and 2 yeaer boy to raise and I was a new nurse too. I did good for many years. being responisble to two little ones made it easy. My drinking began with Friday night pizza night, and wine for me. we watched movies and relaxed and celebrated the week being over. That friday night tradition sled into the weekends, then over the years, nightly. I am a cancer nurse and deal with tragic things all the time. I use to think intitled to drink. since many of my patients died, i figured that i deserved the buzz since i had such a tough life. I now realize it was just another excuse to drink. I am remarred now and have a very supportive husband. He is one of the lucky "normal" ones though that i strive to be. He can drink one rum and coke, and be good for the rest of the night. He can also go weeks without even a drink!! So, i start out on this journey today 1/4/14 with the goal of 30 days. Then i hope to moderate if i can. If i can't then i will have to totlaly abstain. I have got all the tools i need i think. The book, ordered the cds' and the kudzo root. Also the af drinks that i like. Wish me luck!!:new::thanks:
I know we all have stories. And it seems to me, that they are often VERY similar. i think alcholism is much more than people realize. I have been living in denial for many many years. I do think that like many of us, i have the heritary gene. My grandpa on my moms side and his brother were hard core alcholics. The uncle was a minister and he when he needed to "dry up', he would lock himself up in the basement and tell everyone not to let him out no matter what he screamed out. I guess he had the dt's!! He also would drink and then hold it, trying not to trow up, so that he could get the buzz. YUck!!
My story begins like this. i had a few bad throw up incidents in high school. BAck then, it seemed funny and many of my friends did it too. As I went to college, we would party hardy. We went to spring breaks and i was in bikini contest that i won, only that i would not get up there unless i was pretty buzzed up! Liquid confidense. I was still funtional in Colleget though. I would stay up studying all week long unil sometimes 2 am, just so that when Friday hit, i could be the party queen!! It all worked too. I graduated and became a RN. I met my husband in college and we boht partied and smoked pot. When i became a nurse and we had two wonderful sons, i decie3d to give up the weed and cut down on the drinking. This did lead to my divorce in the end. My huusband becamce very violent. He bagan to punch holes in the walls and i knewn i mjight be next. during one of our fightes, my little toddler came out of the bedroom and sied, Mommy, whats wrong? I knew that was it and i filed for a divorce. I had a 1 and 2 yeaer boy to raise and I was a new nurse too. I did good for many years. being responisble to two little ones made it easy. My drinking began with Friday night pizza night, and wine for me. we watched movies and relaxed and celebrated the week being over. That friday night tradition sled into the weekends, then over the years, nightly. I am a cancer nurse and deal with tragic things all the time. I use to think intitled to drink. since many of my patients died, i figured that i deserved the buzz since i had such a tough life. I now realize it was just another excuse to drink. I am remarred now and have a very supportive husband. He is one of the lucky "normal" ones though that i strive to be. He can drink one rum and coke, and be good for the rest of the night. He can also go weeks without even a drink!! So, i start out on this journey today 1/4/14 with the goal of 30 days. Then i hope to moderate if i can. If i can't then i will have to totlaly abstain. I have got all the tools i need i think. The book, ordered the cds' and the kudzo root. Also the af drinks that i like. Wish me luck!!:new::thanks:
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