Hi everyone :new:
I've been coming on this site for a very long time but have never posted before.
I have tried to stop drinking for over 2 years and have never got past 40 days that's my record. I also did 30 days twice but the craving get's too much for me to stand.
Here's my story:-
My mum had affairs right through my childhood and eventually left my dad when i was 15. I stayed with my dad. My eldest sister moved in with her bf and my yonger sister went with my mum. I went off the rails so to speak and flunked out of school and went off with a man of 26 whom i babysat for. When i was 17 i got pregnant with my daughter. I stayed with her dad til i was 19 and moved into a shared house with my 13mth old baby girl. This is when the fun started.
I met another man and quickly fell in love with him. He was into drinking and taking drugs which at the time i thought was great fun! For 2 years we drank like fishes, smoked dope til our lungs ached, snorted amphetamine up our nostrils, took downers, took LSD. My daughter spent fri to sun nite with my mum. None of my family knew what i was doing.
Anyway my bf became violent and i knew in my heart i had to end the relationship if only for my daughters sake. He didn't take this news very well to say the least! When i was 21 (he was 24) he drove his car through my front door. He had covered the car in petrol and ignited it as he sped up my drive. Hasten to add he burnt to death on my door step. The neighbours had to help me over the garden fence with ladders as i couldn't get out of the front door. The next few weeks were a blur.
This is when drinking became my best friend. It stopped me feeling the pain, loneliness and my anxiety ceased for a few hours. I got drunk every night for the next 10 years.
I have curbed it to weekends only now but i drink vodka like it's water and nearly always black out. My daughter is nearly 17 now and luckily never sees me in that state cos she's out with her friends etc. I am now married to a man who drinks like a fish too. :upset:
He drinks beer every night and then drinks loads of vodka on a weekend. It has become such a routine. I have been with him for nearly 14 years and drinking is what we do. Sad but true. When i don't drink at the weekend with him he gets very irritable with me and thinks i'm being a drama queen for not joining in. He doesn't think i have a problem at all. Even when i spend all weekend on the bed and can hardly move with the hangovers from hell he still thinks there's no problem. My hangovers are unbelieveable. I can't even describe how ill i get. Then of course you have to go through the panic attacks and depression just to top it off.
My problem is this? How after all this time do you live sober? What i really mean is holidays, parties, nights out, the lonely boring evenings, when something bad happens, how do you all go through that sober? I don't know how to do it. It's like asking someone to fly a plane who has no pilots licence. I am now 35 and i have no idea.
I live in the Uk and as many people on here have stated, the Uk is a very bad place for binge drinking and you are seen as strange if you don't. It's an epidemic here.
I suppose really i just need some words of wisdom and a lot of support.
Bye for now,
Charlotte xxx
I've been coming on this site for a very long time but have never posted before.
I have tried to stop drinking for over 2 years and have never got past 40 days that's my record. I also did 30 days twice but the craving get's too much for me to stand.
Here's my story:-
My mum had affairs right through my childhood and eventually left my dad when i was 15. I stayed with my dad. My eldest sister moved in with her bf and my yonger sister went with my mum. I went off the rails so to speak and flunked out of school and went off with a man of 26 whom i babysat for. When i was 17 i got pregnant with my daughter. I stayed with her dad til i was 19 and moved into a shared house with my 13mth old baby girl. This is when the fun started.
I met another man and quickly fell in love with him. He was into drinking and taking drugs which at the time i thought was great fun! For 2 years we drank like fishes, smoked dope til our lungs ached, snorted amphetamine up our nostrils, took downers, took LSD. My daughter spent fri to sun nite with my mum. None of my family knew what i was doing.
Anyway my bf became violent and i knew in my heart i had to end the relationship if only for my daughters sake. He didn't take this news very well to say the least! When i was 21 (he was 24) he drove his car through my front door. He had covered the car in petrol and ignited it as he sped up my drive. Hasten to add he burnt to death on my door step. The neighbours had to help me over the garden fence with ladders as i couldn't get out of the front door. The next few weeks were a blur.
This is when drinking became my best friend. It stopped me feeling the pain, loneliness and my anxiety ceased for a few hours. I got drunk every night for the next 10 years.
I have curbed it to weekends only now but i drink vodka like it's water and nearly always black out. My daughter is nearly 17 now and luckily never sees me in that state cos she's out with her friends etc. I am now married to a man who drinks like a fish too. :upset:
He drinks beer every night and then drinks loads of vodka on a weekend. It has become such a routine. I have been with him for nearly 14 years and drinking is what we do. Sad but true. When i don't drink at the weekend with him he gets very irritable with me and thinks i'm being a drama queen for not joining in. He doesn't think i have a problem at all. Even when i spend all weekend on the bed and can hardly move with the hangovers from hell he still thinks there's no problem. My hangovers are unbelieveable. I can't even describe how ill i get. Then of course you have to go through the panic attacks and depression just to top it off.
My problem is this? How after all this time do you live sober? What i really mean is holidays, parties, nights out, the lonely boring evenings, when something bad happens, how do you all go through that sober? I don't know how to do it. It's like asking someone to fly a plane who has no pilots licence. I am now 35 and i have no idea.
I live in the Uk and as many people on here have stated, the Uk is a very bad place for binge drinking and you are seen as strange if you don't. It's an epidemic here.
I suppose really i just need some words of wisdom and a lot of support.
Bye for now,
Charlotte xxx
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