How to live sober?

[Ripley]

How to live sober?

Charlotte, Hi from a fellow Brit. hang in there lass!

All the supps are available in Holland and Barrett but i agree with Niblet about the kudzu - the MWO knocks the rest into the top hat. order it from this site.

topa was what really worked for me. it stops you wanting to drink. simple as that. I ordered mine online. I can make a glass of wine last 2 hours now. (if you knew me before you'd think this was a bloody impossibility.)

as for not drinking in a boozy culture, you know what I find... people don't even notice or care what you're drinking after they've had a couple themselves. If I feel uncomfortable with it, I buy the first round myself and people assume there's vodka in my tonic water. Most of the time I just say "nah, not this one thanks, I'll have a coke I'm really thirsty" and people don't even care. Most of what you assume people think about you is in your head only. To other people, friends, I've just said I am cutting back because of health / weight. If they're mates they'll be nice about it, if not, why are you out with them?!

As for your partner... well this is tricky. You will have to get advice on this elsewhere. i have just left my husband who would not stop drinking (but was a nasty abusive violent SOB with it) so I am a bit biased!

Good luck Charlotte. all i would say to you is don;t rely on willpower alone : booze is stronger than that for most of us. The MWO programme is amazing.

Ripley

[Arial]

How to live sober?

Hi Charlotte,

A warm, warm welcome out on to the boards! Niblet - my hat's off to you! What an inspirational post! I also agree with everything else said, though I have to echo Chrysa - please seek medical support if you can. It's the first thing RJ recommends and whilst this is a fabulous place for support, encouragement, friendship, shoulders to cry on, sharing of experiences etc. - we're not there, we can't physically help or monitor your situation as a professional can. There was someone on yesterday talking about a social services service in the UK which seemed to offer the whole package of medical, physical, emotional and psychological support - if I can find the post again I'll lead you to it - my memory's so bad, though, don't know if I'll find it! - did anyone else read it???

Anyway, welcome again - many congratulations on your AF days already - that takes some will power given your situation! I admire your courage and strength :h

Warmest wishes,

[Arial]

How to live sober?

Me again - I actually managed to find the thread, and the knowledgeable writer - and it's our very own Amelia! I hope you don't mind, Amelia, but I was going to copy the post as I thought the information you offered was very interesting. However, as you're here I will suggest that if you're interested, Charlotte, Amelia has some very interesting information/experiences with the Social Serices offered in the UK so maybe drop her a PM to get details.

Good luck!

[vegan]

How to live sober?

hi

Well i'm back again. I'm afraid i drank tuesday nite and tonite.

You've all freaked me out a bit.
Chrysa, why do you think i need AA etc? I don't believe in god at all. I do worry about seeking outside help because i'm so cynical. I just think oh yeah well that's your opinion. All these professionals have an opinion. I may not agree with that opinion but they think they're right? I would never get on in AA. I'd spend my time arguing with them.
Anyway thanks for your comments but i think i'm too weak to stop this merry go round. I don't know how to do it. God i bore myself!
I'll log back on tomorrow,
Charlotte xxx

[stillcrawling]

How to live sober?

continuing reading posts

Charlotte,

It is hard -- my suggestion is to read and read the variety of posts and stories many of them very sad -- there are stories of liver malfunction and members in need of transplants ... we all have our own "toolkit" to attempt to stop drinking -- that's why I suggest reading posts -- Determinator, X-Texan, Irishlady, Abevel, Breez, Ariel and Niblet are just a few of the folks oh and Popeye that I have learned from ... I could recite so many more but they come to mind ... this is your health... we are all here to support you... Oh Rocky is very wise also... me? I'm 37 days AF and learn something new everyday on this board. It has been a blessing. Still ...

[Breez]

How to live sober?

How after all this time do you live sober?

That's it....I'm living. I'm feeling every pain, every joy, every sense, every moment. I'm doing it liquor free.

I never lived when I drank. I can look back & can say "what kind of life is that". No one trusting or depending on me, blacking out, lying, causing scenes, forgeting things, false promises, arguing....geesh...I can go on.

I no longer depend on alcohol to be my crutch. I don't need alcohol to mask my emotions. Alcohol is not the first thing I turn to. With each AF day I grow stronger. I've gained AF confidence. I face each day AF-and I love it. When I gave up the booze my mind got clearer. I enjoy things now. I have energy. My attitude is positive. My family life is great. My family respects me. My nights are far from boring-now I don't have enough time in the day to finish things.

Without alcohol I know I can face anything. I have been tested-my biggest alcoholic triggers just happened and staying AF thru them proved that I CAN do it. It takes baby steps at first and you work your way up.

I'll tell you one thing...I love waking up each morning saying "today I choose not to drink-what has this day in store for me" rather than "oh God I feel like sh#t ~ I just want to die". Now that's living.

Never give up. It took me 4 yrs to convince myself I could moderate & another 4 yrs to get to where I am now. Tweak the program, stay close to the boards & never give up.

[Arial]

How to live sober?

Hi Charlotte,

If you're reading this you've obviously come back which is great! One of the great things about this place and the programme is the freedom to pick and choose what you feel is right for you - all we do is throw out suggestions, ideas, experiences and you can take it or leave it. Sometimes you may feel someone's hit the nail right on the head or you identify exactly with what someone has posted - at other times you think, OK, interesting but not for me...Your choice

I liked Breez's post above and agree with all she says - the key word for me in that is respect - I've found some! - Respect from others but more importantly self-respect - that's what I get out of a life without drinking!

So whatever route you decide to take you're in the driving seat and we're here to support you - so lead on - Best of luck with this new day - may it be whatever you choose it to be!

Warmest wishes,

[Elizabeth]

How to live sober?

Charlotte, don't shy away

Charlotte, don't shy away or be frigtened away just when you've found this support. What Arial says is so true. Everyone here has different approaches (to some extent) and opinions; some we'll read and utilize, others we will cast aside. The biggest thing is the combined support and knowledge you can gain here to tackle drunkeness head on. You've taken the first step.. and thats the biggest step of all as far as I'm concerned.

I can't remember looking under this section before but I was drawn to your message and the subscequent answers. Niblet your post here, " You TEACH people how to TREAT you " certainly has opened my eyes and I've saved it on my desktop as a constant reminder. My admiration of you is humongous.

We all learn something new here Charlotte, often when we least expect it - so hang in there. STAY and slowly figure what way best suits you in your battle. Read, read, read... everything RJ & Dr. Garcia have to say, get the Kudzu and the other recommended supps and keep talking here. Don't leave and give up on yourself... Niblet's words are so very, very true.

:l :l :l

[vegan]

How to live sober?

Hi all

Hi everyone,
I've had a nasty hangover today. I was up drinking til 3am and then got up for work at 7.30am. You can imagine how lovely that was.
Thankyou for the replies i've received, it's brought me to tears on more than one occasion.
Well here i go again on day 1. Will order some Kudzu i think.
Y'day was horrible and i felt so fed up, hence the drinking. This is what i meant when i started this thread. How the hell do i stop reaching for the vodka when i feel so fed up? Wild horses couldn't have stopped me last nite.
I have certainly paid the price today though. Feel exhausted with a headache and i ache everywhere. I smoked about 20 ciggies aswell
I'm gonna have an early nite and wake up tomorrow with some fighting spirit
Thanks again for your support,
Charlotte xxx

[Elizabeth]

How to live sober?

Sleep well. We'll all be here tomorrow... we're each other's strength.

[music man]

How to live sober?

Hi Vegan,

I'm new here. Day 1 for me (Man was I hung-over today)... Stick with it, I know we can do this.

I won't get into my whole story here, but believe me I have been drinking way too much for way too long, I also did lots of other drugs when I was younger, (thank god I'm not still doing that). For me I guess I just have a hard time with moderation period. I figure if you are going to do something do it all the way or not at all, unfortunately that's not a very healthy attitude when it comes to drinking.

I used to be in terrific shape and enjoyed a lot of activities when I was younger (My binge drinking wasn't as out of control then). Now, I have friends my age who go mountain climbing, skiing, running marathons, surfing, racing cars.... I spend my time off nursing hangovers.

I want to be sober for completely selfish reasons... Basically I want it all (in mass quantities, but if binge drinking means I can't have the other things I want, I'm willing to give it up (yes, I know easier said than done, but that's why I am here).

I once quit for 6 months, and I was feeling great! I had plenty of energy, I was sleeping great. I would wake up refreshed and clear headed, my work life was great... I felt powerful and vital. I want that feeling again.

[vegan]

How to live sober?

Hi all

Hi all,
Music man thanks for your reply
I got through Fri and Sat nite unscathed. Watched 3 horror films last nite with coffee and some yummy vegan chocolate as a comforter. I slept for 9 hours last nite and still woke up exhausted! I always feel so tired for the first 2 weeks of AF. I know it's to be expected.
Hubby was drunk on beer so i just smiled and nodded when he started talking (or slurring) crap.
Music man you are so right about all our free time just spent nursing hangovers! That is all i do. It's so ridiculous.
Hope you all have a good day,
Charlotte xxx

[Captain Morgan]

How to live sober?

Vegan, i am approaching 2 months without a drink. To be honest the first month was far easier than this month, the desire has been strong lately and i pray about it alot.

I dont have any words of wisdom, as i too am battling myself right now. All i can do is tell you that each day is a small victory when you choose not to drink.

I often wonder how some people can drink one or two drinks and stop, i never wanted to stop. Thats why i dont think moderation is for me, i mean really what is the point of 2 drinks when you can have 8 or 10.

When i really want to drink, i try and focus on why i am not drinking. Weight gain, loss of memory, health issues, hangovers, doing regrettable things while drunk, waste of money. Focus on anyone of the things you DONT like about drinking and maybe that will fight you thru the day or night.

God bless you, keep up the good fight

Captain Morgan

[Lotus]

How to live sober?

Charlotte

You have had so much going on in your life and alcohol switches off those emotions.

I have a problem with alcohol and as you put it my husband drinks like a fish too. Initially it was him who told me I need to control my drinking habits as I was becoming aggressive and violent. Now whenever I tell him I don't want to drink he feels I'm going through a phase and I don't have a problem. Basically it's because he's missing his drinking partner?.also completely denying that he has a problem too, drinking every night and smoking dope! Since I cut down on drinking I feel our relationship has suffered. We did argue before but by the morning neither of us could remember why, so it was forgotten about. Now I do remember what he says and calls me.

I totally understand when you say it seems strange if you don't drink (I had the same question under my post "celebrating without alcohol").

To help myself not to drink in the evenings I am doing a home study course, I've joined the gym, and the money I would spend on alcohol I have kept separate and treated myself to something anything but alcohol. Change your routine at home. I now it sounds clich? but take each day as it comes.

There have been times where I have slipped up and given into the cravings?I did so yesterday?but I am so looking forwards to waking up tomorrow feeling refreshed as opposed to with a hangover.

I wish you all the best.
Love Mandy x