Hello to all!
I am new here and am hoping for some direction, via personal experiences, that will help me to taper off of one bottle of wine per night. (Give or take?.but only a glass, either way.) This is LONG, so please bare with me?..(sorry in advance!!!)
A bit about me: Recognizing my addictive personality and having battled other addiction, I realize that addiction is an insidious disease. To sum it up, I used to be a runner (leisure only, but 4-5 times per week/3-6 miles). Two years after the birth of my twins, which likely contributed to my back/neck issues (as well as having degenerative disc disease run in my family?both parents) a disc in my lower back herniated. It was a large herniation, but due to my age (33, at the time) it was recommended that I try every alternative to surgery, and so I did. Thus began the roller coaster of steroids and narcotics (as needed) and ultimately, my dependence on them. By the time I said "Enough" and had the surgery to fix my back, my neck happened to herniate just 6 months later. And so I was placed on an even stronger narcotic, b/c of my tolerance to the other one. THIS was where my REAL troubles began. (In my opinion).
Long story short? I have overcome narcotic dependency with the help of Suboxone therapy, seeing an Addiction Specialist monthly, as well as seeing a therapist WEEKLY. I am off of ALL narcotics and have no cravings or desire for them. What I have realized now though, is that while I HAVE developed many positive and healthy coping skills to combat THAT issue, I also allowed my "occasional" glass of wine, to turn into an "every night" bottle of wine. I can go the occasional day, without wanting any, but if I am honest with myself, looking back? I can see that I was just substituting one addiction, for another. I feel I was in denial at first, simply b/c I have never liked the feel of an alcohol buzz, save for a few long nights out?here and there. I never thought I'd have an "issue" with alcohol.
At this point, I am attempting to nip this entire "thing" in the bud, before it spirals out of control. While I can and do function on a "bottle" per night, I do not like how I feel, nor what it is doing to my body.
My SPECIFIC question is?.what is the BEST way to taper from a "bottle per night" wine habit? I have been attempting it this week, and realized that while I KNOW that when I don't drink any, it is partly uncomfortable b/c it's what I am used to?but?that I have also had some actual symptoms of what I feel are alcohol withdrawal. Compared to my experience with narcotic withdrawal? They are beyond mild, but concerning to me, none the less.
My symptoms have been (after drinking a bottle/4 glasses on Tuesday):
*Wed?no desire for alcohol, poor sleep Tuesday night (alcohol disrupts my sleep terribly) and the next day, being able to push through, although fatigued. Didn't "feel" hungover, even with being tired. Sort of "knew" how I'd feel and just pushed through. But was SICK of feeling THAT way, so decided to test myself.
*By Wednesday evening, I felt "good enough" to have "wanted" to have a glass (which would have turned into a bottle) while making dinner, but I abstained. That evening, I developed a headache and had heart palpitations, that I chalked up to being dehydrated. I take a small dose of Klonopin (0.5mg) at bedtime for a mild tic disorder anyway, so that probably helped, unbeknownst to me.
*On Thursday, I was TIRED ALL DAY and had a nagging headache. The kind that makes you think that your sugar is low or something. But, after researching some, I started to think that maybe, it was *mild* alcohol withdrawal. (No tremors, no confusion, no real sickness, no anxiety, no confusion) Just TOTALLY TIRED, for what I felt was NO reason.
*On Thursday evening, by 8:45, I had gotten through my duties at home (and would usually have my first glass by 4:45-5:00) and decided that I WAS likely having W/D symptoms. So after eating a nice meal earlier, I had 2.5 glasses of red. (white is my go to and makes me "exited" while red seems to "lower me" more.)
*Today? I woke up feeling good, slept AMAZINGLY well and felt proud of myself, but by 4pm, I was wishing I could have a glass of wine?.you know?b/c it's FRIDAY! But, I didn't. The headache hit by 4pm, with very mild heart palpitations. (have had before during other types of W/D and can feel that these are not too bad.)
So I had PLANNED to abstain tonight and tomorrow and then have 2 glasses on Sunday. But instead, I decided to have the 2 glasses tonight, both as justification, I'm sure?but also, b/c I wanted to learn more about how OTHERS have tapered off at this level. I KNOW that this is something that I can do. Beyond a shadow of a doubt. I know enough about addiction and replacing poor choices with good ones, nutrition, supplements, you name it?.to KNOW that I have a mild to moderate habit here, that I likely developed while weaning from the Sub.
If I can never drink again, then so be it. Don't really care. But my hope at this point is that I can, in TIME, go back to how I WAS, when I could really just drink a few glasses on a weekend night and then be "wine free" all week. It never bothered me before. I never craved it. I never NEEDED it.
I suppose my question, again, is?should I just go down to half a bottle a night for a few nights, then down to a glass or something? Or should I just quit and deal? I know I'm not going to go into DT or have a seizure. But for those who have had a habit similar, how long should I expect to feel the lethargy and the heart stuff? I've got the Klonopin on hand, if needed, but have never had a liking for or an issue with benzos. I could use as needed, by breaking off pieces of my already minuscule dose, but I am just looking for a formula that others think might work.
As a side note, I already take Vit.B, high dose Fish Oil and magnesium, potassium, as needed. I also eat a very healthy diet of nearly all organic/Non-GMO fruits, veggies, water, lean meats, healthy oils and smoothies/juices. No dairy. I also drink warm water with lemon and cayenne each morning for my liver and take Epsom Salt baths.
ANY thoughts or suggestions or experiences are all appreciated!!! And again, my apologies for the length of this. Just felt a history was needed, for many reasons.
I am new here and am hoping for some direction, via personal experiences, that will help me to taper off of one bottle of wine per night. (Give or take?.but only a glass, either way.) This is LONG, so please bare with me?..(sorry in advance!!!)
A bit about me: Recognizing my addictive personality and having battled other addiction, I realize that addiction is an insidious disease. To sum it up, I used to be a runner (leisure only, but 4-5 times per week/3-6 miles). Two years after the birth of my twins, which likely contributed to my back/neck issues (as well as having degenerative disc disease run in my family?both parents) a disc in my lower back herniated. It was a large herniation, but due to my age (33, at the time) it was recommended that I try every alternative to surgery, and so I did. Thus began the roller coaster of steroids and narcotics (as needed) and ultimately, my dependence on them. By the time I said "Enough" and had the surgery to fix my back, my neck happened to herniate just 6 months later. And so I was placed on an even stronger narcotic, b/c of my tolerance to the other one. THIS was where my REAL troubles began. (In my opinion).
Long story short? I have overcome narcotic dependency with the help of Suboxone therapy, seeing an Addiction Specialist monthly, as well as seeing a therapist WEEKLY. I am off of ALL narcotics and have no cravings or desire for them. What I have realized now though, is that while I HAVE developed many positive and healthy coping skills to combat THAT issue, I also allowed my "occasional" glass of wine, to turn into an "every night" bottle of wine. I can go the occasional day, without wanting any, but if I am honest with myself, looking back? I can see that I was just substituting one addiction, for another. I feel I was in denial at first, simply b/c I have never liked the feel of an alcohol buzz, save for a few long nights out?here and there. I never thought I'd have an "issue" with alcohol.
At this point, I am attempting to nip this entire "thing" in the bud, before it spirals out of control. While I can and do function on a "bottle" per night, I do not like how I feel, nor what it is doing to my body.
My SPECIFIC question is?.what is the BEST way to taper from a "bottle per night" wine habit? I have been attempting it this week, and realized that while I KNOW that when I don't drink any, it is partly uncomfortable b/c it's what I am used to?but?that I have also had some actual symptoms of what I feel are alcohol withdrawal. Compared to my experience with narcotic withdrawal? They are beyond mild, but concerning to me, none the less.
My symptoms have been (after drinking a bottle/4 glasses on Tuesday):
*Wed?no desire for alcohol, poor sleep Tuesday night (alcohol disrupts my sleep terribly) and the next day, being able to push through, although fatigued. Didn't "feel" hungover, even with being tired. Sort of "knew" how I'd feel and just pushed through. But was SICK of feeling THAT way, so decided to test myself.
*By Wednesday evening, I felt "good enough" to have "wanted" to have a glass (which would have turned into a bottle) while making dinner, but I abstained. That evening, I developed a headache and had heart palpitations, that I chalked up to being dehydrated. I take a small dose of Klonopin (0.5mg) at bedtime for a mild tic disorder anyway, so that probably helped, unbeknownst to me.
*On Thursday, I was TIRED ALL DAY and had a nagging headache. The kind that makes you think that your sugar is low or something. But, after researching some, I started to think that maybe, it was *mild* alcohol withdrawal. (No tremors, no confusion, no real sickness, no anxiety, no confusion) Just TOTALLY TIRED, for what I felt was NO reason.
*On Thursday evening, by 8:45, I had gotten through my duties at home (and would usually have my first glass by 4:45-5:00) and decided that I WAS likely having W/D symptoms. So after eating a nice meal earlier, I had 2.5 glasses of red. (white is my go to and makes me "exited" while red seems to "lower me" more.)
*Today? I woke up feeling good, slept AMAZINGLY well and felt proud of myself, but by 4pm, I was wishing I could have a glass of wine?.you know?b/c it's FRIDAY! But, I didn't. The headache hit by 4pm, with very mild heart palpitations. (have had before during other types of W/D and can feel that these are not too bad.)
So I had PLANNED to abstain tonight and tomorrow and then have 2 glasses on Sunday. But instead, I decided to have the 2 glasses tonight, both as justification, I'm sure?but also, b/c I wanted to learn more about how OTHERS have tapered off at this level. I KNOW that this is something that I can do. Beyond a shadow of a doubt. I know enough about addiction and replacing poor choices with good ones, nutrition, supplements, you name it?.to KNOW that I have a mild to moderate habit here, that I likely developed while weaning from the Sub.
If I can never drink again, then so be it. Don't really care. But my hope at this point is that I can, in TIME, go back to how I WAS, when I could really just drink a few glasses on a weekend night and then be "wine free" all week. It never bothered me before. I never craved it. I never NEEDED it.
I suppose my question, again, is?should I just go down to half a bottle a night for a few nights, then down to a glass or something? Or should I just quit and deal? I know I'm not going to go into DT or have a seizure. But for those who have had a habit similar, how long should I expect to feel the lethargy and the heart stuff? I've got the Klonopin on hand, if needed, but have never had a liking for or an issue with benzos. I could use as needed, by breaking off pieces of my already minuscule dose, but I am just looking for a formula that others think might work.
As a side note, I already take Vit.B, high dose Fish Oil and magnesium, potassium, as needed. I also eat a very healthy diet of nearly all organic/Non-GMO fruits, veggies, water, lean meats, healthy oils and smoothies/juices. No dairy. I also drink warm water with lemon and cayenne each morning for my liver and take Epsom Salt baths.
ANY thoughts or suggestions or experiences are all appreciated!!! And again, my apologies for the length of this. Just felt a history was needed, for many reasons.
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