Alcohol My Partner!!!!

[burnette]

This is my first post despite having lurked in the background over the past few weeks and I feel as if I know you all already, I love reading all of your posts but when it comes to the wise old sage I look to Popeye who just seems to say the right things to people, way to go Popeye! Anyway about my partner well 'he' and I were probably introduced at a New Years Eve bash when I was about nine and we didn`t hit it off at first but when we met again in my mid twenties when I had a big personality and even bigger figure of 206 pounds we fell in utter and complete love and we have been together for 13 years until 15/07/07 when he went out of my life for 'hopefully' good. In the beginning we only met at weekends drinking beer with our friends but over the years as we fell more in love we dropped our friends and began drinking alone going from beer, via sherry and wine to a litre of vodka ( and the rest) in under a week. Family and friends would ask us out but we wanted just the two of us together alone indoors every single night and god help anybody ringing or disturbing us during the evening upsetting our routine! People took a dislike to my partner when he started becoming the major focal point in my life and I began to drop alll my friends one by one preferring to be with him, they didn`t know how much time we actually spent together so when they did come to visit he would have to hide in some strange places (by the way he was height challenged!!) I had to hide him in the washing machine as nobody works that darn thing but me, he`s been in the wardrobe, on the wardrobe, under my bed wrapped in the spare duvet and even in between the towels in the airing cupboard that nobody uses! When we had to go to a party we`d be really naughty and go into the toilets together for our fix and hope that no one heard or caught us at it, we even joined the mile high club, at house parties when we stayed over we`d be visiting the bedroom to be together alone, I knew things were going down hill when all of our friends chatted into the wee small hours and we were comtose in bed at 10.30 absolutely trashed, such party poopers. If friends stayed over we used to leave them watching tv whilst we went to the bathroom to be alone where we could lock the door so we couldn`t be caught in our sordid act. As the years rolled on by we became even more passionate about one another so much so that he completely took over my life and he was all I lived for, he was my truely, madly, deeply. I knew this was wrong being so possesive so we broke up in Feb last year but ended up getting back together in June when I`d forgotten my possesive ways and thought we could start over again with us seeing each other once or twice a week but within a fortnight he was staying over everynight again. Unfortunately this time it was even worse than it ever had been and I just couldn`t keep my hands off him, we used to start our fun at 8.30pm and go all through the night but it soon became 6.30pm but was knackered and crawling to bed by 9.30pm. Sadly our relationship went into decline when I began to see him for what he really was, he never really loved me at all and I`d even heard on the grapevine that he was seeing other women who couldn`t keep their hands off him either!! Whilst he is left unaffected by our love I am left an absolute wreck, my eyes are bloodshot and have taken on a yellow hue, my once lovely skin is breaking out with broken blood vessells and even worse over the years I have neglected to eat properly and have lost over 102 pound almost half my body weight, I wouldn`t eat until gone 10pm as I wanted the buzz from him and when I did eat it could have been a sirloin or a sausage, I didn`t remember the next day either way. My shame to this day is that Stephen a much loved member of family who was a mere 42 died on my birthday 5th Dec 06 due to acute liver failure, I thought he had given up drinking and maybe he had but it was too late and from the onset of his symptons that he let on too was dead within 7 days, he bravely fought to live in his final hour with his whole family around him but it was too late he was gone, sadly he became a grandad to Brodie Lea 3 months later whom he shall never now hold. I the biggest hypocrite in the world cried and cried at his funeral and I played the CD of his 3 favourite songs which was played during his service over and over again and I swore to him then that I would never drink again but to my eternal shame within two weeks I was drinking again my excuse being it was bloody Christmas. I have set up a memorial site for him on the 'gone too soon' website where people can light a candle and pay tributes to those who have passed on and he has had over 350 visits with candles being lit by passers by who didn`t even know him, it struck me then that if I carried on drinking too it would soon be someone setting up a memorial site for me and passers by thinking how tragic I was oh the shame. It took me another 5 months to decide what to do so I set a date for the 15th May for us to split forever and in our final week we were at it like hammer and tongs as I knew that I wouldn`t feel my hands around him again and it was the hardest thing when I held him for the very last time on that monday night. So far I am 12 days AF and have done it by will power alone as sheer punishment to myself just to have felt the pain Stephen must have felt so have been to hell and am still there. I think about my ex partner 24/7 and I still catch glimpses of him everyday and everywhere, I`ve seen him in pubs, the off liscence, the supermarket and even on tv in the adverts so I know I shall never be able to forget him but hopefully as time passes by my memories of him will fade and I will become a 'normal' person again. I do hope I haven`t bored you all too much and I also hope that I can fit amongst all you people on our quest for a normal and sane way of life. Cheers ooops Bottoms up then!!!! xx

[betty boop]

Alcohol My Partner!!!!

Burnette, Hi and welcome to MWO ....

You have such a lot going on and my heart goes out to you, that is the most honest first post that I have ever read .... thankyou for baring your soul ...

I'm intrigued though, you say you saw him in tv adverts ..... is he famous ....

Love & hugs, and hoping all the best for you ....

PLease post if you need any help or advice ....

BB xxx

[burnette]

Alcohol My Partner!!!!

Dear BB,

Thankyou for your reply, to clear up any confusion that may have occured I mean that my partner was alcohol so when I see 'him' in the adverts its only a brand of alcohol being adertised, mind you I wouldn`t mind meeting someone famous so maybe in my next life me thinks!!! xxx

[Java]

Alcohol My Partner!!!!

Welcome, and congrats on your AF days. I too was lured by him...but have luckily left. Check out the supps and maybe even the topa, if it is right for you, it certianly helped me a ton.

Victoria

[ducky]

Alcohol My Partner!!!!

Welcome Burnette,

That was a moving post. I think it describes a partnership that many of us have been in, to one degree or another. Sorry to hear you lost a loved one to alcohol. Unfortunately even that doesn't always get us to stop. But it sounds like you are very motivated now and I wish you the best of luck. Keep reading and start posting. Download the book if you haven't.

:welcome:

[Otie]

Alcohol My Partner!!!!

Burnette,

I got it immediately. I have the same partner. And he is sooo jealous and possessive that I cannoyt do anything without him. I have broken off but he keeps coming back. I truly loved you post.

Good on ya for 13 days! Keep going, show that you are you!

All my supporrt & love,
Otie
:h :h

[SKendall]

Alcohol My Partner!!!!

Hello and welcome. That was a very honesting posting and I hope you join us here on the MWO site. Roberta Jewell has written a very comprehensive book and outline to help us in our struggle.

Lots of luck and big hugs!

[psychmommy]

Alcohol My Partner!!!!

This is a brilliant post Burnette. . . I too have had a long and passionate affair with my "partner" along with all those secret(?) liasons you described.

[burnette]

Alcohol My Partner!!!!

Thankyou for all your kind words and support, it really helps knowing that people are routing for you and actually mean it x

[Saint Jude]

Alcohol My Partner!!!!

Burnette,
WOW! Incredible post... I know all too well the affair you describe sooo well. You are an amazing writer. CONGRATULATIONS day 13!:goodjob:

Glad you found us. Welcome aboard.

:welcome: :l

So sorry to hear of your loss.
:l Judie


ps, Cute doggie!

[rachel28]

Alcohol My Partner!!!!

hi, i think ive, been having an affair with your EX partner 4 years !!!!! im sorry for your loss and inspired by your story, u must feel proud of sucess, and keep it up well done chick,u have given me 1 more reason 2 find the courage an determination to try and stop this doomed relationship, if u can leave him so can i,! xxxx