Beautiful Wreck

[Islandgirl]

Hello everyone, I am going to be 50 this year and have been a binge drinker since high school. I have raised three children and have been married for 29 years. My husband and I are a party couple, entertaining alot. People think I have it all togeher, I have a great family, beautiful home, health, and people tell me I am attractive, am also a nurse. My life can never be complete like this! I always drink to much when socializing. I have blacked out many times, been sick many times and still love that buzz. I fell the other night at a party I was giving for my daughter who is going away for the summer and gave myself a HUGE black eye. I'm lucky I didn't kill myself. people cannot beleive how bad I look. This is it hopefully for me! I am racked with guilt and shame :upset:

[buffy]

Beautiful Wreck

Hi Islandgirl...I have done exactly the same thing! You sound like me so much. I'm one of those people too that can't stop and end up falling on my butt....I have had the bumps and bruises too. We belong to a country club and I have made a fool of myself on many occasions and have finally had enough of it. I decided to go AF....alcohol free...and have so far gone to one party without drinking. I had O'Douls beer...and never missed the wine that I used to like to drink in excess. I never ment to drink too much, but I don"t think I can tollerate it like some can....and after the first I start drinking fast. I also know the shame part....You have an image of yourself....like I do...and being falling down drunk doesn't fit!.....I assure you, you can change. I have not had a drink in almost 2 weeks....I feel wonderful and starting to feel like the person I want to be.....glad to have you here....Buffy

[paraniod]

Beautiful Wreck

Hey to both of you. I too am a binge drinker. I just here recenlty had a bad blackout too. I won't go into the details because I personally don't know them. But, I am 38 years old and a mother of 3, my biggest shame from this last weekend is that my kids were there. I don't usually drink around them. Anyway, I did. I am told I didn't do anything wrong in front of them, but I personally don't know. Who's to say what is wrong to me and not to another. Anyway, I am glad to know that I have some friends that are striving for the same thing. I too have a vision of who I am and that drunk does not fit either. Some people find that funny and ok, I don't.
I have come to realize that I drink when I am uncomfortable and feel that I am in a hostess mode. I want everyone to have fun so I start the party. I am not going to allow that to happen anymore even if it means losing my husband. He will never quit because we too got started as a "party couple".
Anyway, cheers to you two on a new journey where we can have fun without being the joke.
I would love to stay in contact with you. Please pm if you would like.
Angela

[louise]

Beautiful Wreck

Welcome Islandgirl - ah, the things we do.

[ModerationNow]

Beautiful Wreck

I'm in the same boat. I'm a 38 year old wife and mother with everything to live for, yet I am frequently destroying my self-worth by binge drinking (beer). I'm not new to this forum and have managed to moderate but unfortunately, every so often, I still go overboard...Fo example, we had a huge family party at our house. I erected a beer tent and bought way too much of the good German beer (my family is from Germany, my hubby's from Ireland and we live in the USA). So, I should have known what this would lead to and unfortunately, I did drink too much and had a big fall-out with my dad. I even became violent against my hubby and I can't remember any details. Now I'm bruised up and guilt-ridden, like so many times before. Why do I do it when I know how it ends up? My hubby and I are big party animals too and we keep egging each other on to drink. Like we moderate for a period of time and everything seems fine and then one of us brings home more than we should and bingo, back to square one...
I'm glad you came to this forum as it helps each one of us to read others' stories and we can often relate.:welcome:

[Beaches]

Beautiful Wreck

Welcome IslandGirl! Glad you are here and that's one of the reasons I came was to stop embarrassing myself and my family...one of the many. I wish you the very best. Stick around and keep posting