Sober for 3 years then started after we got married and it's getting disastrous!

[Michelleb1927]

I've struggled with alcohol most of my adult life and after learning my boyfriend at the time (now husband) and I were gonna have a baby I quit drinking and relied on God to keep me sober and away from the wine bottle. Well the days leading up to our wedding last year (bachelorette and bachelor parties) we both fell off our wagon and have been drinking pretty heavily (anywhere from 2-4 days a week) since then . I know that if one of us doesn't stop we will destroy our marriage life and family!! I do stupid stuff when I'm intoxicated that I wouldn't think of doing sober (like recently- I'm not sure sure but I may have fooled around with my buddy and we've been friends for 10 years :-/ ) I need help, I need support- right now I feel worthless and am pretty down on myself but dumped all the wine down the drain and am getting ready To go to Church to seek more support. My dad drank himself to death so I know that this could be my fate of I don't stop NOW!!!!! I want my marriage, I want my family, I want me back

[NoSugar]

Sober for 3 years then started after we got married and it's getting disastrous!

Welcome, Michelle and good job on dumping out that nasty wine!

The toolbox is full of good ideas and the Newbies Nest is a great place to hang out and Get This DONE! Both links are shown below.

Glad you are here! NS

[Byrdlady]

Sober for 3 years then started after we got married and it's getting disastrous!

Michelle, welcome aboard!
I hate to hear that AL is wrapping its tendrils into your lives. As we all know, its not just our lives it affects, but its ripples go far beyond just ourselves. I would like to point you to two links ( both in my signature line). Newbies Nest is a great place for day to day support to get this monkey off your back once and for all! The Tool Box is a collection of tips and tricks to help you learn the skills it takes to get ( and stay) sober. Glad you found us, we can help! See you over in the nest! Byrdie

[Michelleb1927]

Sober for 3 years then started after we got married and it's getting disastrous!

Thank you for the welcome, I've been more sure to never buy another bottle of wine again!

[NoSugar]

Sober for 3 years then started after we got married and it's getting disastrous!

You'll save more than money, Michelle. You can save your marriage and maybe even your life.
Hope to see you over in the Newbies Nest!

[Michelleb1927]

Sober for 3 years then started after we got married and it's getting disastrous!

Yes my marriage and family is one of the main reasons for the decision to walk away but I also need to love myself again as I can't while under the influence of alcohol. I don't like who I am & the way I hurt people with my mouth and actions :-(

[Marylou123]

Sober for 3 years then started after we got married and it's getting disastrous!

Welcome Michelle,
Congratulations on tossing the wine and deciding to get your true self back. I KNOW you're going to really love yourself once you kick that nasty alcohol voice straight to the curb. You sound a lot like the person I was six months ago - broken, sad, and not liking myself at all. I tried AA, and while that works for some, it wasn't my cup of tea. Then I found MWO and with Brydie, No Sugar and many other fabulous people here, I have been able to be AF for more than six months. And I like myself now, I really do. And you will too! I would say stupid, hurtful things when I was blitzed - never mind the time I wasted in a complete state of fog. No more. I try now to reflect on situations rather than react fueled by Miss Chardonnay. She has no place in my life - she made it a living hell and I felt, and looked, like crap most of the time. I couldn't imagine all the wonderful benefits of not drinking at the time, but I did write down what I hoped they would be. And the benefits have far exceeded my wildest dreams. Do it first and foremost for yourself. Read and post here as often as you can. (Whenever I felt even the slightest urge to drink I came here instead.). Go to the toolbox and Newbies Nest that Byrdie put links to in her signature. And certainly, keep your conversation with God going - incredibly, he's never too busy to listen given everything that's on his plate! You are so worth this new journey. And you're not alone - rely on MWO, learn from the sages that will willingly and lovingly give you advice and never judgement. You can do this - you've done it before!

Sending loads of love your way,
MaryLou

[Michelleb1927]

Sober for 3 years then started after we got married and it's getting disastrous!

Thanks Mary Lou, your words are very encouraging and things I needed to hear! Yes Miss Shiraz just needs to leave me be! Today is day 3 and tomorrow day 4 and I've never went more then 4 days without atleast a glass of wine. And on Wednesday my husband comes home and we've become eachothers wine drinking buddies so I know it will be a struggle so I will definitely be checking in here!! I am already feeling good and am in the process of researching on doing a 100 km ultra mountain marathon next year so I would Defintely need to be in tip top shape and alcohol can and will stop training progress for sure! I don't understand about the newbies place, I tried to go there but didn't understand how to get around there..:thanks:

[Byrdlady]

Sober for 3 years then started after we got married and it's getting disastrous!

Michelle, go to the last page of the newbies nest for the most current posts. It is a little confusing, sorry about that. Once there, you might read back several days to get to know us, then post a reply! Congrats on day 3, you are operating under your own power now! Keep up the great work, the worst is behind you! B

[sammynorm]

Sober for 3 years then started after we got married and it's getting disastrous!

Thank you for your story Michelle. I crossed the 3 year mark a few weeks ago and I've been tempted to have a drink with people from work when the opportunity arises. Guess I need to 'up my program again' and start going to meetings regularly again. Today I guess I figured out I have some belief that this problem would get to a point where I'd 'won' or it would go away and I could just live life without recovery/AA.

Your story is a good reminder. Also, I went to a meeting last night where a guy who had 10 years had 'gone out' and was facing 6 weeks in jail minimum for something he'd done. I quit 'cuz of my 2nd DUI, the 3rd would be minimum 6 weeks in jail.....guess that guy and your story are trying to tell me something.

Hope you and get back on the wagon again soon, as an AA attender my advice would be go to meetings.....but, I know AA doesn't work great for everyone.

[Eloise]

Sober for 3 years then started after we got married and it's getting disastrous!

Michelle... be one of the smart one who walks away from the wine at an early stage in your life.
There is no way later you will think 'Gee, I should have kept drinking!' or "I wish I had kept up with the wine a few more years.'

I think it is wonderful you are here and wish I had found this website 20 years ago! Wishing you the best... please join us in the Newbie nest roll call thread? I will be looking for you!