I have a 10year plan….

[K9Lover]

I have a 10year plan….

So proud of you SL! :h

[Ginger999]

I have a 10year plan….

SL, I finally found this post! Thank you so much for sharing it with all of us.

[johncaroll]

What a wonderful post, thank you for sharing your experience I had learned a lot of thing's from it. Make your daughters' always proud and keep it up!

[ShawTHo]

this, once again another great thread! thank you for sharing this!

[danpeet]

Your post is very inspiring. Thank you for sharing this to us.

[scottish lass]

As I reflect on a year, has my life got better – probably not overall, and that was one surprise for me. I think that I felt if something was so hard to achieve, it would change my whole world. What it did was allow me to deal with everything that was dealt me.

I was in a bad place, not just because of drinking – I did not hit rock bottom as others describe, but life was a mess and I could not work my way out. Really, looking back, something terrible should be coming if I continued.

I left my husband, lost my house, was in a financial mess – even though I had a really good job, and my kids were struggling.
I am now divorced, I have money in retirement and a little in savings, I hope to get a mortgage this year and my girls and I have made a life for us.

I drive the girls to so many activities. I read in bed at night. I use moisturizer at bed time, and even brush my teeth every night. I take vitamins. I eat better. I did not lose weight when I stopped drinking, but with lifestyle changes I weigh less than I did 20 years ago. I learnt to run, and though I have not kept it up I did run a 5K and know I can do it again. I have teenage sorts of issues with my girls – really big ones in my world, but I feel that I am able to make decisions and deal with them. I can afford treats (flowers, chocolates, Starbucks etc.) instead of wine & bigger things like holidays. I am doing things as a single parent that scare me, but I have the internal resources to do that.

I feel – I feel sad, angry, happy….I feel all sorts – not all good, but they are real feelings. The bad ones I can look at and work out how to deal, the good ones I can enjoy. I sleep well (most of the time).

Life is good – not great, not amazing. Giving up drink did not make everything magical, but life is good. I am good. I am learning to like myself, and this is huge. I can learn how to respect myself, not hate myself in the morning. I am not surrounded in guilt for what happened last night, or what may have happened that I can’t recall. I can live, knowing what I have done and be honest about my mistakes….

My life is definitely improved, and I have to do everything not to relapse. I will be here for my “infusions” of sobriety. I owe so much to MWO. I owe my sobriety. I have made good friends, maybe even great friends that hopefully one day I may meet some of them.

I am grateful. I am content. I am sober.

Happy February 21st 2015

[Mick]

SL.....what a good,honest post......and thats what it is about...not the fact ok..I ve stopped drinking world..wheres the magic dust..but more of ok Ive quit,and now I can be honest with myself and deal with issues that I would not have had neither the courage strength or inclination to address, instead filing them in the too hard to do drawer,their importance negated and diluted with alcohol infused skewed thinking...it is 5.05 am and I am away out in a minute,but just saw this post and it impressed me...I wish you all the very best..ouve done the hard bit..the rest is maintenance...

[treetops]

Great post SL - and you summed up much of how sobriety has been for many of us here. There are not necessarily bells and whistles and a cavalcade descending upon from afar once you reach a year AF - and somehow I don't think you could cope with that! But you have described how this does not have to be about white knuckling either and the changes are often small incremental ones - even if its moisturizing your face at night. I can read though, some lovely big changes in there too for you and I hope the next year sees some of these come to fruition. You and your girls deserve it.

[scottish lass]

I have two threads of thoughts to share.

Friday nights - I went to my bed last night and was settling nicely, feeling content (content is a word i use so much more now - happy comes and goes, but overall I am content) - I thought back as to how far I have come since starting MWO - Friday nights I would be doing well if I got to bed, would fall into said place, wake up in the middle of the night feeling regret and start Saturdays waiting until I could drink it all away and start again until trying to get to work and function on a Monday....not continuing to look back - but last night...
watched a movie with my girls and laughed my way through it, had driven to pick them up a pizza. Went to bed at a decent hour, AFTER brushing my teeth, washing my face and lotioning up bits and bobs of my aging body, then kissed my girls good night and read in bed for a while. The self care items I NEVER did and now do them almost 100% of the time. It feels good - took me, myself and I for a good long walk this morning and felt great!

On a different note - two sad situations from where I live - a 25yr old girl has just been sentenced for a car crash when DUI - she was 0.1 over the limit. Horrendously three died and she is guilty of murder and will be in jail for a life sentence - I feel terribly sad for her.
A father is critically ill in hospital following driving DUI where he hit a tree, and killed his 12yr old daughter - he is arrested in his hospital bed for murder. Another horribly broken family.

I have a belief that I did not drive drunk, but I absolutely drove buzzed - I was lucky that I was never stopped. I am also not sure whether I would have passed a breathalyzer the following day...this is a real beast we are dealing with.

It is not easy to do what we are all doing or really trying to do, but I read these terrible story's and know it is what I must hang onto with everything I have, so that I do not have a horrendous experience, and I am able to go to my bed with clean teeth and a feeling of contentment each night...

Looking at the calendar - a year and a month today, with very close to a sober year the year before.....it has been worth everything I went through (and am still going through) to be here...

[Lavande]

I am very happy for you SL
None of us will ever find perfection. Learning to feel grateful, each & every day for what we have & what we have achieved is close enough to perfection I think!
Wishing you the best, always!

Lav