Sorry this is so long. I hope that many will take time to read & give me feedback.

[SHADES_of_IDAHO]

I appreciate your support. It is tough to watch our children suffer so many differt ways emotional, physical and put down and treated so poorly by society, police and the medical community.
I send him ways for help to get help in his state it falls on deaf ears. I send him my support every day. Most importantly I tell him I love him no matter what! He can always come home if he can make the trip. He can't leave the state for long it's where he has established all his medical connections he rarely uses. He's on Medicid. At least when there is an emergency they can assist quickly . He is so beat up from all the abuse over the past 15 years he can't work. Serious Back injuries from the police also thrown tru a plate glass window. Then his shoulder and hand badly cut up last year. I always worry about him he is really a great guy. He just hooks up with enabler type women who use him. He thinks that's his only choice, other than living on the streets again.Then once a crisis happens ,the drinking cycle starts all over again.

It is a pattern of behavior as alcoholics do have choices that can make their lives better. He is now in a really bad place. I pray for his recovery every day. As every day passes a little more of my heart dies.

I hope you are doing well. How are you? I like your name I suppose it tells a story that you play the guitar? How wonderful! Let me know and keep in touch.Take care.

Shades

[Guitarista]

Hi Shades. Yep, I'm a guitar player.

I'm doing pretty well at the moment, thanks for asking. I really can't complain.

I hope your son can remove himself from what sounds like a toxic living environment/relationship. That would keep anyone on edge. We all need safe shelter or we are stressed. I don't know what kind of housing support/options he has there? Good luck and take care of yourself.

[SHADES_of_IDAHO]

How wonderful it is to play a instrument. It is a blessing. Music is so rewarding and soothing. To memorize songs the notes sometimes when I play piano my fingers move to the keys as I don't even realize where I am. Then quickly catch up to the notes in my head. I have enjoyed piano and my son is a fantastic drummer. Played since he was 3 years old.
How long have you played? I started as a child as an adult music has always been a way to get into a great space when down. I have now develped arthritis in my hands so it difficult to play. My fingers are curling up and distorted , but that won't stop me!
Your so right about his toxic relationships. He has always been drawn to crazy situations thinking he can help. Yet it always backfires.
He has no place to go. I can't stress that enough to him he must always have plan b. But he puts so much effort time and investment in making her happy...???he doesn't get it. It's his way of surviving and have access to drink., that is a priority unfortunately. Toxic is always in the mix literally & figuratively. ( no pun intended), he says he wants to come and take care of me. I only hope he will some day just be able to take care of himself, The co-dependency thing with girlfriends is heart wrenching to watch him so mistreated every time.
Her daughter put him in ICU. I went to see him and told him about it at the time, he didn't beleive me and they were planning on getting married. Now 3 years later he finally gets it. They never married.He has a restraining order against her and her kids. Sounds fishy since he is in her house. I never get the truth as he is protecting his lifestyle. Not healthy. I try to support him not enable him. He has threatened suicide so many times in a black out state. I never know what's next.
THANKX again for your support. You understand the pain he lives with and you know the drill. He is my son and I know what he has become. Very sad! I still carry hope in my heart that some day he will find sobriety. Yet some never do.
Hope you have a great day tomorrow. Fall is beautiful all the trees are so colorful. There is so much in life I wish I could share with my son. Do you have children? They are so precious yet at times make life so difficult.

Take care . Stay strong!
Shades

[BenTen321]

hello shades your story is really touch my heart. How much you love with you son. May you love's never end ....

[SHADES_of_IDAHO]

Hi Ben,

Thank you for your support. Yes addiction for anyone is a very sad story. There is not one minute day or night that I don't think about how my son is suffering. I understand all too well it is his responsibility to himself to FIRST put his health & mental well being before anyone else. The reason for this is, he has become unwell emotionally and physically and financially. He has been deprived by society to the point that his life is a constant struggle. He is a good person a loving, kind productive and has lost everything . He some day will forgive himself and find sobriety. He knows the many roads available . He h been thru the journey many times.
Society must change they way addiction is treated. It is a disease. As long as it's treated as criminal behaviors there is no progress. There is a science to addiction and relapse.

Many blessings sent to you and all my friends. I am so proud and happy many of you have found sobriety. One day at a time!