Back again, wine drinking escaper

[hazeleyes]

Hi bri and Frances. thanks for chipping in to help me. Who'd a thought the humble cup a tea could be a miracle cure. People really love tea, I've always drunk coffee but decided the caffeine was probably as bad as AL, so now I drink decaf. I will give tea a try.

As for relaxation, I think I need a hammer to knock myself out. Only joking, but is certainly is a challenge for me. It always has been, my whole life, I have been constantly worrying or stressed about something. Oh well, maybe that is the lesson I am meant to learn here.

How are you both going with your journey?

Thanks so much for staying in touch...and another day AL free, bites the dust.

[hazeleyes]

Oh, by the way Bri, Kava is a Fijian drink with the same effect as alcohol. I'm sure your not taking that, are you?

[briseus]

Hey Hazel! Great job on another AF day! I, myself am on Day 7 and puttering along.
Hmmm. Never heard of Kava having the same effect as alcohol. I have, however, heard that it acts or is an anxiolytic much like the way a benzodiazepine works. I am on benzos but do not want to take them because of how highly addictive they are.
I purchased Kava phyto caps but not the drink. I just heard from many people that it has helped their severe anxiety a great deal. I will do more research but haven't heard of that before. I guess much can be said of all other herbal supps that act as anxiolytics or adaptogens?
Back to Google I go! Although from all the research I have done thus far have read and heard its relatively safe.

I'm a coffee drinker too! Started drinking after I quit AL but of course it exacerbates my anxiety a lot of the time. And then we are getting into coffee being addictive too, but I love how with tea there are a million varieties!
I also find I always buy funny drinks too when I get sober. I recently bought some dry lavender soda. Actually tastes pretty good!
So how are you doing in your recovery?

What is your plan? Since this is your thread I figure we can delve deeper into your quit and how to help you stay on track.

[hazeleyes]

Hey Bri, thanks for your reply. Must be different Kava you have, than the Fijians have. They party all night on it.
Anyway, I am still AL free and feeling ok. I don't physically crave it, just feel sorry for myself when I'm tired at the end of the day. I have constant mood swings, but then I always did as I am almost 50 and the last few years my hormones drive me up the wall.
What is helping me quit this time is my husband has completely quit as well. He was never a big drinker, not like me, but for him to completely quit is a big deal. He hasn't quit alcohol before for nearly 30 years, so this few weeks AL free has had a big impact on him. He looks So much younger and says he can cope with work better. I am so proud of him.
There is no way I am going to be the first one to cave in.
I try not to think of the future, just take my quit one day at a time. So far so good.
Thanks for staying in touch, and keep up the fight with me to stay AL free!

[frances]

Good for you hazeleyes for hanging in there and that's awesome that your husband is doing it too!

[briseus]

Hey Hazel,
It's Kava Kava with kavalactones ?? sp ?? lol...I have no idea. I have just heard from many people that it isn't intoxicating whatsoever. I had no idea that there is a drink where people get "drunk" on it? Am I right? I need to look into this a bit more.
I haven't taken it yet. I want to take it on a Friday night, just in case I get any side effects from it...my anxiety is pretty bad and want to try it sooner rather then later, but better safe then sorry, right?

That's so awesome that you're husband is in on this with you. My partner is as well. He can take it or leave it...but he's gung-ho about not drinking when I'm not drinking, which is a big support...because if he drank, then I am not entirely sure *where* I would be. So that is a big plus for you and is awesome to have that sort of safety net in your hubby.

How many days AF are you now, Hazel?

[treetops]

Bri- Kava is widely drunk within many cultures in the South Pacific and especially in Fiji. It is used in social settings but it is also used in ceremonies. I have drunk it in such settings. Its not something I would choose to drink because I don't like the taste. There is much ritual associated with it. Some people go a bit overboard on it but is not an intoxicant at all as in the way AL is. Kava tends to make people relaxed and mellow. Some people who are not used to it feel a bit sick because they drink too much. Although The kava kava medication sold in shops overseas is from the same plant, you would be taking it in a tablet form. This should not cause any harm. Liver damage from kava is extremely rare and I think, usually only a result of decades of regular use - plus there might be other factors involved.

[briseus]

Thank you TT! That clarify's it for me, I appreciate it.
I have heard that the taste isn't very pleasant...I am not sure I would want to try it! Although I drink dandelion root tea and some people think that's the grossest thing ever. Lol. My partner says I drink "dirt tea" - they all taste like dirt. HA!
The Kava I purchased was from a health food store and it's phyto-gel caps.
I definitely heard about the relaxed/mellow feeling - that's why I think it would be great for someone like me that deals with 24/7 anxiety without having to resort to benzo's.
Again, thank you for clarifying! I think I might start a thread on the "holistic healing" board when I finally try the Kava and give my experience.
I definitely don't want to take anything that makes me feel intoxicated....I might as well drink if that was what I was going for, right? Gotta stay faaaar away from that.

[hazeleyes]

Thanks treetops, news to me as well.
Thanks France's, how are you going?

Hey Bri, I am 18 days AL free after tonight. Great news on your partner supporting you. We seem to be a similar pair, except I don't drink dirt tea. Only joking you!

Keep up the fight, and searching for ways to relax. We can do this

[frances]

Hi hazel - I'm doing OK. I don't like that I've been feeling a stronger pull than usual toward having a drink the past couple of nights. Got through without doing it but sure hoping that doesn't continue!

[hazeleyes]

Hi Frances, anything I can do to help? Are you under more pressure than before, are things getting stressful, are you eating regularly. What can I do to help?

I'm finding it gets harder when I'm overly tired or emotional. I need to really focus on relaxation and healthy food. Talking about it with a kind person can sometimes help.

Feel free to share your struggles here if it helps.
Kind regards
H

[frances]

Thanks Hazeleyes! I'm feeling better since yesterday and hoping it doesn't come back! I really appreciate your offer to share and help that's what makes this such a great place! :hug:

[hazeleyes]

I had a really bad day yesterday and only just made it through without resorting to the bottle. Oh my it was close. The only thing that stopped me was the look on my husbands face if I had caved in. He gets a look that says almost contempt to me. It's unbearable when you get it from the only person in the world you think loves you.

I am trying to change my life, contemplating selling up and moving to a cheaper house, but it's complicated to work out. I also found out the band I sing and play with is no more as one of the members quit. This was another activity that I put a lot of effort into, and now it's gone from my life. Drinking seemed like a good option yesterday..

But here I am this morning sober, and grateful for another day. Day 21

[frances]

Good for you Hazel! The times when you want to drink seem so strong at the time, but after you get them behind you, you have stronger 'AF muscles' for the next time!

I hope you can work out the changes you want to make. Changing nothing and expecting things to be different doesn't get anyone anywhere! Staying AF is truly something no one I know has ever regretted. So glad you got through that!

[frances]

Hi Hazeleyes - I also wanted to add that I'm sorry to hear about you band - It is hard when something you really enjoy doing and feel committed to, ends. Maybe you can find another group to play with....or, find someone to replace the one who quit?

I used to play in a band just for fun at a friends house every couple of weeks or so, and we had such a good time and I really loved it. Life happened (we are all in or 50s or nearing 50 now with kids and/or other commitments) and we don't do it any more. I miss it and really love playing music. I played in a praise band at church for awhile after that and I still play handbells at my church, but I still miss what I used to do. I hope you can get it back into your life :-)

Stay strong!