Nancy's story

[nancy]

Wow, I never had enough courage to post my own story until now, five months after visiting this site.

I find it hard to open up but will give the following facts, many of which contribute to my drinking problem:

Severe abuse,mental and emotional from a very young age
use of alcohol to help reactions from abuse from the age of 13
Extreme identity issues, dissociation with normal life, though others wont' recognize necessarily
inability to recover from these things

I suffer from anxiety and depression. I have a very hard time trusting people due to failures in past I find it very hard to lighten up and see the world for its beauty. I am prone to seeing the dark side of things, though this may not be obvious to people who know me unless they are deep and do a bit of digging.

I feel sad a lot of tte time and alcohol has always been there to help. but it's so negative too...

I do realize through some psychotherapy that there is a way out, that the negative thinkikng is just some dysfunctional, not real path, what a relief.

[Flip]

Nancy's story

Thank you for sharing Nancy, it must have been hard for you to do this. Having been around here for a while you will know that you will always get support if you ask for it. I hope you do well in your self discovery journey.

F.

[Arial]

Nancy's story

Hi Nancy,

Having read your posts over the months I really appreciate your thoughts and introspections - your insights are well considered and thoughtful, and I like to hear your perspective.

Thank you for having the courage to share a little of your story and I am glad to hear that you now have the vision of a different future with the possibility of relief, or escape even, from the shadows of your childhood. I wish you well on your road to self discovery and recovery, and look forward to reading more from you as your journey continues.

Warmest wishes, :h

[Bella]

Nancy's story

Hello Nancy, thankyou for telling your story. Its hard but when I did it a while back, it kind of felt liberating. You have not had an easy time of it. But now is a time for change. like you, I had an abusive childhood and alcohol is great for covering over the cracks, but in the end it only adds to the problems, doesn't it. How wonderful that you have found this site to open up and share your feelings! You say that you suffer from anxiety and depression, Snap! Its not always easy to look on the lighter side of things but I am getting there slowly. I think the key is to learn to accept the way we are and try to dam well enjoy the present coz we sure as hell can't change the past. Keep coming back here my friend. Bella xxx

[Popeye]

Nancy's story

Thanks Nancy,
I think a lot of us have an intimate knowledge of the darker side of things.
Take care.

[ducky]

Nancy's story

Thanks for sharing Nancy.

I also find your posts very thoughtful and full of insight.

Glad you are feeling more positive about your future.

[Kitty]

Nancy's story

Thanks Nancy,

I always like to read your take on things and I can certainly identify the with the negative feelings. I spend way too much brain time trying to figure out why I don't feel happier.



Kitty

[betty boop]

Nancy's story

Hi Nancy,

Thanks for having the courage to share that with us ....

You have done really well and should be proud of yourself.

Love & Hugs,

BB xx

[irishlady]

Nancy's story

Nancy it does help to get it out and I'm glad you now feel that you can share some of your story with us.. I just wish that you didn't feel sad, I used to be like that, it was a very deep sadness I had at one time, but it has gone now that I am successful at abstaining, hopefully the same will happen for you..

Love, Louise xxx

[Trevor]

Nancy's story

Hi Nancy,

Chat is very good ..... no-one forces you to say what you don;t wanna say........ and in my experience it helps to talk to people ..... There's a real mix of people in there ....

I've had my fair share of IRL problems and there's some good people in there!!!

I've just done 17 days AF and lost 10lbs in weight .............

I've met a few people in your situ in my career but i can't post it here .....

If you wanna chat more message me ......

Trev

[Flip]

Nancy's story

Like Louise, I used to feel deep sadness and suffered from serious bouts of depression. Now, after 6 months AF I feel calm and happy for the first time ever.

A lot of it is due to the internal work I've been doing both with a counsellor and by myself on finding the root causes of my depression/drinking/anxiety. It's still a work in progress and it always will be, but I have an optimistic view of my world so its worth it.

I read, write and think all the time. Getting it out and understanding it all is the key to packing it away.

So like I said before, well done on sharing. This is the first step.

F.

[louise]

Nancy's story

Nancy, You should be very proud of yourself. With a past like that you are one of the kindest and most thoughtful people here. I hope as alcohol is less and less of an issue, the other issues can be dealt with. You definitely deserve to be happy.

[MDBiker]

Nancy's story

Thanks Nancy, I always look forward to your post
bear

[Guest]

Nancy's story

Hi Nancy,
Have read your story and note how you feel.
Think perhaps that we are all a product of our circumstances, and some people can cope better with adverse circumstances than others. I am not one of life`s great `copers`-as you know, I suffer from anxiety and depression, which I have tried to master with booze, and as all too many of us know, such tactics don`t work.

I tend to focus on the downside of everything, as my life seems to have turned out very different from how I anticipated it would when still in my youth. Am now 42 yrs. old, a University drop-out, and some days I just sit and allow myself to be engulfed in an enormous cloud of depression, telling myself I have achieved nothing. Sure, my life didn`t go according to plan, but I have a wonderful teenager, a lovely new flat, a loving wee dog, and now headed towards my 4th night AF. I feel that I still have a lot of life to live and that I can still realise some of my ambitions. Am now planning on doing an Art and Design course at college(art is my passion, after wine!!! lol), to fill up my life, give me something productive to do, and also detract me from the booze.

For far too long now, I have just sat and wallowed in wine, full of regrets about all that might have been. Now I think the world is my oyster and am ashamed at the time I have wasted feeling sorry for `poor me`, when there are so many others worse off than myself.
Am trying to alleviate the deep sadness I often feel, by filling up my life.

Also, am on my own, since I split with my ex. 1 and half yrs. ago, and I used to think that if I could meet `this charming man`, everything in my life would fall into place. Have tried it all, even dated a couple of guys from dating sites(lol/no lol), but now I am no longer `looking` -if it happens, it happens, meantime I`m just trying to find things to make me happy within myself.

I wish you well

Starlight Impress

[bluesky]

Nancy's story

Nancy

Thanks for having the courage to share your story, I am deeply sorry that you have suffered so much in life and sincerely hope that things are starting to get better for you. I look forward to reading your posts, you have a wonderful way with words and such a deep intelligence which is helping so many members at MWO. Be strong Nancy, have faith in yourself, you are magic and we all love you.

Bluesky XX