I hope this helps somebody else, it's definitely helped me to write this down.
I started drinking heavily/daily when I was 20, after 5 years of this I began making half hearted attempts to quit/cut back. Finally after getting in trouble at work I got sober and started going to AA. Detoxing alone was a terrible experience and the fear of detoxing again, plus losing my job, kept me sober for 14 months. Then I relapsed, that year I went through 4 detox programs, also outpatient groups and counseling. I tried naltrexone, which I had horrible side effects, and campral, which didn't seem to help. Everyone at work knew about my problem and my family was fed up with me. I kept on trying to quit though.
Finally I had enough, I realized what I was afraid of was being sober and miserable. Of being what they call a "dry drunk" in AA. But I didn't care anymore. Sober and miserable sounded better than drunk and miserable. I was just tired of going to detox all the time. I knew all the nurses and counselors by name. I was tired of missing work and feeling like s*** all the time. Now I've been sober for 2 months and I want to let everyone know there is hope, and never stop trying.
I started drinking heavily/daily when I was 20, after 5 years of this I began making half hearted attempts to quit/cut back. Finally after getting in trouble at work I got sober and started going to AA. Detoxing alone was a terrible experience and the fear of detoxing again, plus losing my job, kept me sober for 14 months. Then I relapsed, that year I went through 4 detox programs, also outpatient groups and counseling. I tried naltrexone, which I had horrible side effects, and campral, which didn't seem to help. Everyone at work knew about my problem and my family was fed up with me. I kept on trying to quit though.
Finally I had enough, I realized what I was afraid of was being sober and miserable. Of being what they call a "dry drunk" in AA. But I didn't care anymore. Sober and miserable sounded better than drunk and miserable. I was just tired of going to detox all the time. I knew all the nurses and counselors by name. I was tired of missing work and feeling like s*** all the time. Now I've been sober for 2 months and I want to let everyone know there is hope, and never stop trying.