Deep bottom

[Peter Pan]

I believe that's the term they use in AA. On the surface, I'm not looking like a guy that's one bad night away from a horrible reality check (I drink and drive). I've been married for 19yrs (and she still loves me), I have two awesome high schoolers, I'm in better shape than most (again, "on the surface"), and I have a great career; that's the good news... Bad news... I've been a party guy my whole adult life. I've been trying to moderate for 10yrs or so. I can still have a great time with booze, but more times than not it ends with a blackout and some level of damage control required. I really hope moderation is possible for me but I have serious doubts. I'm obviously hoping this site offers hope for me to find my way... Btw, the "Peter Pan" reference is probably obvious; I can't grow out of drinking like I'm still in my teens and twenties.

[satori]

Deep bottom

Hi peter

welcome - if you really want to change you have come to the right place.
THE SUPPORT ON HERE IS AWESOME.
I too was a high functioning alcoholic very few people knew the extent of my drinking - not even my wife.
I functioned well enough to hold down a good job, and have all the trappings of a successful life - ON THE SURFACE.
But Like you I was living a lie - I was even lying to myself AND BELIEVING IT.
But take heart - it CAN change. My life is so much better and in control since i arrived here. I can honestly say the folks on here probably saved my life.
Take what you want from here and tailor it to suit your circumstances.
It is tough - but any time you need a friend - day or night - to get you thru the bad times, there is always someone on here to help.

Look forward to seeing you around.

Satori

[Peter Pan]

Deep bottom

Thanks for the quick response Satori, it's encouraging... I'll be back for more dialog soon

[AAthlete]

Deep bottom

Peter Pan, glad to have you on MWO and welcome!!

Lots of people here who have chosen both moderation and abstinence. Much like reaching your own personal rock bottom in drinking, the choice to moderate or quit is a personal one. I would encourage you to get and read the book as there is a lot of useful information in there.

I can't speak to the moderation side of things, as I have gone AF. Like you, I had too many morning of doing damage control; had taken too many chances on losing my wife that I couldn't afford to muck things up again.

Keep reading and posting - it is extremely therapeutic and will go a long way in helping you make your choices.

[DidItForMe]

Deep bottom

Peter Pan:
Hello and Welcome to MWO. Your story sounds very familiar. High functioning, successful on the "outside", miserable on the inside. It's amazing how much grief we give ourselves on a daily basis by living with alcohol abuse. Read the book if you haven't, it's got a lot of great info, and read as much on this website as you can. There are some great people here with some great advice and insight. Hope you find what you are looking for! I certainly have. Again, welcome to MWO!!

[tea]

Deep bottom

Hi PP Welcome, try reading through some old posts, really great stuff there. Looking forward to getting to know you.

L

[Popeye]

Deep bottom

Hi Peter Pan,

Stay with us. This is a great place. Have you read the book?
It'll let you know what it's all about.

[Peter Pan]

Deep bottom

Thank you all... I like being here already... Sounds like the book is my next move... Additionally, I will use the site as much as possible. My computer is not at arms reach most of the day but I'll make the time; it's important!

[goingsobermum]

Deep bottom

Hi Peter Pan,
Good to have you here. Reaching this place and setting out on the journey is a great step.
Look forward to hearing more from you.

[betty boop]

Deep bottom

Hi Peter Pan,

Most have us have been there, spending all day being hung over, but looking forward to starting again.

This place can change your life if you want it to.

Good to have you here ....

Love & Hugs BB xx

[trixietrack]

Deep bottom

Welcome Peter. you sound a lot like me. MWO has helped me face reality in a positive way.
the support here is wonderful. I keep coming back to learn and share.
I still have a long way, but I am hopeful.
stay strong
trix

[thought2much]

Deep bottom

Hi Peter

I am in much the same boat as you..... except I am not so high performing at the moment.

I am starting my journey with you and am sure we will be able to get through this.

20 years of nights without memories is enough for me. Sounds like you feel the same way.

I hope to be able to drink in moderation, as I enjoy parties and socialising, but for now I know AF is the only way for me. I have tried moderation and failed for 20 years.

I wish you every success.

[cassy]

Deep bottom

Hi PP

well this site has certainly helped me..i no longer drink weekdays(well its week 3 of that actuallybut i like saying it to myself!!!)did 46 days AF earlier on(gave up the wine for lent)

I have read and posted on here frequently and i now feel pleased with where i have reached so far.

Afer 40plus years of drinking i,m not expecting to break the alcohol dependency over night.

i hate yo admit it but i havent read the book,doen the pills or tapes but picked up from here how this site works for so many.

dont despair..you can make changes in your life too..no matter how entrenched the behaviours are.

I believe we all have the capacity to change using the strategies and support at hand,

Good luck


cassy

[gitawine]

Deep bottom

Hey PP, you posted on my thread FIRST and I won't forget it Actually I don't know if mine was first...I think so many of us are high functioning alcoholics...Sometimes I would be too public about my drinking at innapropriate places/times almost as if to give people a hint, like hey I'm not really as together as I look.
I'm successfully moderating so far, but sometimes see the definite pluses to going AF; as a moderator I spend a lot of time thinking about how much am I going to drink, how much have I drunk, how much more am I going to drink...? It can take the fun out of drinking thats for sure. I encourage you to stick around and check in regularly. This place does inspire.

[STARLIGHT]

Deep bottom

Hi I'm STARLIGHT, I've been lurking for awhile, not taking the time to post my story. I hope I am at the right spot! I 'm not so good with computers. Reading Peter Pans story sounds a lot like me. I have been drinking for 30 yrs. wine is my choice. I would say the last 5 yrs have gotten worse. I hate going to a party, wedding and gatherings and not remebering the whole event. That has happened a lot in the last 2 years. I would like to moderate, it's difficult under the circumtances I live in currently. Which is an unhappy marriage for 28 yrs., our social events envolve wine, and wine tastings. We do many ventures to the Napa Valley for wine tasting with friends. I keep telling myself I am going to leave. But, events keep on coming up (much to do withs grown children) and prolongs this marriage from spliting up. We are both unhappy, there are a lot of complications to spliting up, that I would rather not go into at this time. I feel a lot of lonliness, isolation, and depression. Forget about Marriage Counceling, we went early on and was not of great success. But, still kept us and the (2) girls together. We did try counceling this last year in Sept. That did not go great in my favor! I was shocked. I have been to a few councelers and told them about all my problems and so on! This counseler was ready to send me to Re-hab. I even went to the doctor to try to get Topa and he said no! I know I should go to a counseler, but am so afraid now after all I have gone through! I read the book before coming to this site, then ordered the sups., took them and didn't feel that much different. I have the CD's but only find time to listen to the Subliminal one when I'm falling asleep. My husband gives no support at all. i'ts very hard, I'm sorry to be so long. I am so happy to have found the book on-line, and finding this positve and loving website.

Love,

Angle,