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    #1

    Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

    Hi I'm STARLIGHT, I've been lurking for awhile, not taking the time to post my story. I hope I am at the right spot! I 'm not so good with computers. Reading Peter Pans story sounds a lot like me. I have been drinking for 30 yrs. wine is my choice. I would say the last 5 yrs have gotten worse. I hate going to a party, wedding and gatherings and not remebering the whole event. That has happened a lot in the last 2 years. I would like to moderate, it's difficult under the circumtances I live in currently. Which is an unhappy marriage for 28 yrs., our social events envolve wine, and wine tastings. We do many ventures to the Napa Valley for wine tasting with friends. I keep telling myself I am going to leave. But, events keep on coming up (much to do withs grown children) and prolongs this marriage from spliting up. We are both unhappy, there are a lot of complications to spliting up, that I would rather not go into at this time. I feel a lot of lonliness, isolation, and depression. Forget about Marriage Counceling, we went early on and was not of great success. But, still kept us and the (2) girls together. We did try counceling this last year in Sept. That did not go great in my favor! I was shocked. I have been to a few councelers and told them about all my problems and so on! This counseler was ready to send me to Re-hab. I even went to the doctor to try to get Topa and he said no! I know I should go to a counseler, but am so afraid now after all I have gone through! I read the book before coming to this site, then ordered the sups., took them and didn't feel that much different. I have the CD's but only find time to listen to the Subliminal one when I'm falling asleep. My husband gives no support at all. i'ts very hard, I'm sorry to be so long. I am so happy to have found the book on-line, and finding this positve and loving website. And thank you Tawnyfrog for steering me in the right direction.

    Love,

    KAngle,
    Tags: None
    #2
    Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

    Welcome Starlight, you are never alone here. I am glad you have decided to come out of the lurk. I am sorry for your marriage. Post in the newbie or general threads and you will get a lot of welcome's.
    God Bless
    Bear
    What St. Frances of Assisi said of himself is true for me.
    ?If God can work through me He can work through anybody.?

    Comment

      #3
      Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

      Hi Starlight and Welcome to MWO,

      This place has literally changed my life, I'm soooo sorry that you aren't getting the support that you need at home, but we are all your new friends now and will do our best to help you.

      Love & Hugs, BB xx
      sigpicXXX

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        #4
        Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

        Welcome Starlight. I hope you will find lots of support here as I have. If you can sort out the alcohol some of the other issues may be more clear as well. Keep reading and posting my dear. Living near Napa would do me in!:welcome:

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          #5
          Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

          Welcome Starlight, glad you are here

          It's tough being in a bad marriage and I can't imagine being unhappy that long. I hope you stick around here and I hope that you find happiness!
          "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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            #6
            Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

            Thanks for your words.

            Md Biker,Betty Boop & ducky thank you for your support. I will keep reading and posting.
            KAngel

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              #7
              Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

              Welcome Starlight. I'm glad you have come here to focus on you. Sorry the supps haven't helped much yet. I find the L-glutamine right before dinner or when I want a glass of wine helps (open the capsule and pour it on your tongue). I listen to the subliminal while driving in the car. The clearing and hypno take 20 to 40 min the 1st time but after that only 20 and i often do them just before bed. i hope the support here will help you.

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                #8
                Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

                Welcome Starlight, glad you posted your story. I know how it is to be in a unhappy marriage. Boy it sure helped me to get out. That was the begining of my recovery. And this place kept it going. Still working. Keep reading and posting. We are here for you.
                Gabby :flower:

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                  #9
                  Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

                  This site is so wonderful and supportive. I have learned so much and know I am not alone. Louise thanks for the info. on the L-glutamine, I'll give that a try. Is it awlful tasting? And gabby I do feel in my heart I will not get better until I leave. I am really looking at that and know I do need to get some counceling for this.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

                    Welcome Starlight, know that you are not alone. I am too in an unhappy marriage, but I don't seem to be able to get out yet. He is unemployed, which I would be able to deal with if he were a real partner in life, but he is not. He seems to go out of his way to do the opposite of that which I would like. OK this is becoming about me, and I did not want that! You should focus on you. I need to focus on me. Maybe what we need to do will become clearer when we stop. Hugs! Suz
                    The more we appreciate life, the more life appreciates and bestows us with more goodness.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

                      About leaving those unhappy marriages.........

                      For 28 years I prayed for change.............I never wanted to leave my marriage, but thought I might have to just to survive. We did brief counseling early on, I poured my heart into a journal, my Bible, and it seemed I just couldn't impact it. Last year, we happened on a counselor close by and hubby was open. We also found a new church. It has been a great journey and he is now the only person, other than all of you, who knows my struggle. He has changed and I never thought it possible - (I think the prayers may have had something to do with it , too). We have gone from isolation to closeness. it can happen. I always knew that he 'just didn't know how' to be a companion, but wasn't sure I could deal with that explanation any longer. Now, he really listens, is aware of my feelings, and even can express himself like he has never been able to.

                      If you really love each other deep down, it CAN improve. I can't believe I am the one saying this to others. I thought it would take a miracle and one year later, I find my marriage in a brand new place - not completely new, but deeper and more satisfying commitment. We have grown up.

                      I don't mean to say everyone should stay together, but I really support anyone who wants to try because I can testify that change can really happen.
                      "Go Placidly Amid the Noise and Haste"

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                        #12
                        Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

                        Hi Starlight and :welcome: ,

                        I have to go to bed soon but I'll see you around.

                        There is a Newbie thread each day that I'm sure you will find helpful. Read, read and read some more. Post when you can and there will always be someone, somewhere around the world who will be able to help and support you.

                        Kitty
                        Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
                        Confucius

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                          #13
                          Newbie who has been lurking for awhile!

                          Thank you for you words of wisdom and what your marriage has gone through. I really feel as though my husband and my relationship just no longer works for one or the other. I don't think counceling will help. I really feel in my heart I will never be the person I am here to be as long as I am with him. I feel I can't realy be myself around him. So, I am taking baby steps, and looking to change my life. I'm glad to read that you and your husband did turn things around.

                          Hugs,
                          KIm

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