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Sober Journey. Again

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    Sober Journey. Again

    Well I have set off from Port Bollocks into the unknown on another adventure of sobriety. I have tried before, then had lapses. Sometimes these would last three weeks on massive benders. I am talking a 5th of Whiskey a day, or Vodka & last of all Wine - Goon Sacks we call them here. I would drink only planning the one night, though would go on till I was nearly dead. Not due to addiction so to speak, though I was too ill from previous nights escapades; so I would refill myself and be ok. Though this is ineffective as I would eventually have to be sober, that day would be endless torture and go on for a week or so. Sometimes I would be required to attend ED as I would be so dehydrated or my pancreas would flare up. I had been diagnosed with Fatty Liver Disease and Acute Pancreatitis in the past; both due to alcohol.

    During my life I have had separation, divorce, custody issues, work related issues & friendship issues. I also lost my vehicle license in 2019 for two years; all because of Alcohol. Though I would still return to this demon to caress my tortured mind & soul during these times of darkness. It is if I was trying to repair the damage, with the very thing that has cause it all. I do have depression and anxiety, which I have had from a young age. I am one who has always kept to themselves, I am not socially awkward and can create and participate in general or higher conversational topics. It is just that humans annoy me sometimes and it is good to be alone., not too long though as that brings me to overthinking certain things. This would be when I would hit the booze to escape these thoughts and create my own reality.

    This last time though I was very ill and came to a conclusion that this cannot continue. I decided it was time to look after my own mind and body, I cannot control what other think or do; just how I react. So I am currently on my thirtyish day of sobriety. I am currently on 5mg of Baclofen which I take morning, noon at night. I have no side effects at all which I am grateful for, it was not a problem for me. I had just scored a new job in December (16th), after five intensive weeks of training I graduated from the training and was to start on the 21st of December. I unfortunately got triggered by some personal issues, and hence went on an insane three week bender from hell. The new employer got in contact with me to see what was going on, I was a bit drunk at the time so do not remember much of the conversation. Though after that, the next day I was massive guilty and depressed-HANGZIETY I suppose. I got my shit together went to GP, organized D&A Counselling - not AA as hate that structured jeebus approach, and got onto Baclofen. I have been feeling so much better now, much more clarity and energy and I still have my new job now I just had a month leave to sort my shit out and my employer's are so understanding and thoughtful.

    So that's my story - glad to be here
    Cheers no Beers!

    #2
    Re: Sober Journey. Again

    Well has been one month and seventeen days
    Since I took your love away
    I can go without and sleep all night
    Since I took your love away
    Since you been gone, I can do whatever I want
    I can see whomever I choose without the booze...

    Yea bit of ol mate Sinead there, so has been over a month and no alcohol at all. Am unsure as to why I posted above I was on day thirty. I feel so much alive, energy, mind has more clarity and my general mood has changed. Still an ongoing event, though I really think I can do it this time aboard. I am still on Baclofen, 5mg until the GP states what to do. I am no longer employed were I was, though I did not like the position. Staff were great, though a bit to full-on for myself at present. I am back into doing my own business thing Full time and am now contracted out to another company. I try to keep active at all times, whether physical or mentally. I have been doing a lot of reading, various topics though am reading Stoic literature at present. It does really help in life as stoicism can be useful in everyday situations.

    - Cheers to stoic sobriety -
    Last edited by DanF; February 25, 2023, 10:09 PM.

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