:new:
Being raised in an alcoholic environment, I guess I was destined to become the alcoholic that I am. The only difference in my story is that most drunks start at a young age. I started drinking in my early 30's to ease the pain of a broken heart and marriage. It took years for me to finally admit that I am powerless over alcohol. I am not sure when I crossed that fine line between "heavy" drinker to "full blown" drunk but I know that there is no going back for me. I was a functioning drunk for some time but I started to experience the loses that some many of us do. I had the typical "Jekal and Hyde" syndrome. Once I put alcohol in my system, I became a different person. Sober... I was a responsible, self-sufficient, caring human being, drunk...no longer cared about anything. I stopped paying bills, lost my job, drove with a suspended license with no car registration & insurance and in constant fear of being arrested if I was caught. For the last few years of my drinking, I KNEW, I had a problem. I didn't know what to do and thought there was NO way out. So, I decided to move from the west coast to the east coast to be close to my best friend. This decision was a definite cry for help; some might call a "geographical" cure. It worked for a short period of time but I learned that your problems go wherever you go. Alcohol finally took over. I drank to oblivion every waking moment. In fact, the last year of my drinking I was passed out. Facing the fact that I was on the verge of becoming homeless because my BFF would no longer tolerant and support me, I started to go to AA. The first 6 months of sobriety were the best days of my life. I had a new found appreciate for life. I had a new positive attitude because I finally saw the light after being in such a dark place that I think was hell. I felt "high" on life. Unfortuately, the "pink cloud" wore off and I relapsed. I am still drinking now but know I must stop! I can not go down that path again. I don't have another recovery in me. Drinking for me is insanity. Today, I will pray to stay sober for 24 hours. I am grateful for being sober at this second and must remind myself that I am powerless over alcoholic.
Being raised in an alcoholic environment, I guess I was destined to become the alcoholic that I am. The only difference in my story is that most drunks start at a young age. I started drinking in my early 30's to ease the pain of a broken heart and marriage. It took years for me to finally admit that I am powerless over alcohol. I am not sure when I crossed that fine line between "heavy" drinker to "full blown" drunk but I know that there is no going back for me. I was a functioning drunk for some time but I started to experience the loses that some many of us do. I had the typical "Jekal and Hyde" syndrome. Once I put alcohol in my system, I became a different person. Sober... I was a responsible, self-sufficient, caring human being, drunk...no longer cared about anything. I stopped paying bills, lost my job, drove with a suspended license with no car registration & insurance and in constant fear of being arrested if I was caught. For the last few years of my drinking, I KNEW, I had a problem. I didn't know what to do and thought there was NO way out. So, I decided to move from the west coast to the east coast to be close to my best friend. This decision was a definite cry for help; some might call a "geographical" cure. It worked for a short period of time but I learned that your problems go wherever you go. Alcohol finally took over. I drank to oblivion every waking moment. In fact, the last year of my drinking I was passed out. Facing the fact that I was on the verge of becoming homeless because my BFF would no longer tolerant and support me, I started to go to AA. The first 6 months of sobriety were the best days of my life. I had a new found appreciate for life. I had a new positive attitude because I finally saw the light after being in such a dark place that I think was hell. I felt "high" on life. Unfortuately, the "pink cloud" wore off and I relapsed. I am still drinking now but know I must stop! I can not go down that path again. I don't have another recovery in me. Drinking for me is insanity. Today, I will pray to stay sober for 24 hours. I am grateful for being sober at this second and must remind myself that I am powerless over alcoholic.
zwink:
Many thanks to all of you!!! I feel pretty positive today. I've decided to start working out again. Working out is a great "substitute" for sitting at my kitchen table drinking alone.
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