Is it the SHAME that makes everyone look away? So many people and families who are trapped in the alcohol abuse cycle just don't know how to face it. I think we don't realize what the drinking habits have done to our livers, brains, metabolisms......it is a good reminder to consider these body mechanisms.
I watched my Mum's body slowly deteriorate over her years, from weight/sugar issues, to wounds that wouldn't heal and varicose veins in her esophagus that caused internal bleeding and low iron count - for several years. Every time she had a new concern, I'd look up 'alcoholism' or 'cirrhosis' and confirm in my mind that , "yep, sure enough. that really is her real problem".....as if I didn't really know and needed proof. I even confronted her out of my desire to have her be healthy and live longer. That was hard. Yet, the doctors would never name it..... even when we called them asking for help. She finally just bled to death - so unnecessary. So, why is it so hard to make the connection?
Excessive alcohol changes so many things in our bodies and minds - the holistic approach would say that when we control/stop excessive drinking, our whole body gets to heal - in so many ways we don't even connect them all.....
Now, you would think this would be enough to make a tee-totaller out of me, but here I am , thinking I might need a little help managing my love of fine wine. No,...... knowing that. perhaps, this revisiting of my Mum's life can be an inspiration - it was something I always had to 'put away' before because I couldn't impact it with her, but maybe I should stop right here & now and remember her, so I can stop the inheritance of destruction.:wow: This is a moment......maybe I can make a difference...if not FOR her, at least I can use her life as a lesson. Wonder what she would think of that? It comes back to SHAME - she lived in that room and might hate it that I am telling the world that my Mom couldn't manage alcohol and that it took over her life....took her life....took part of my life.
Well Mum, I'm taking it back.
I watched my Mum's body slowly deteriorate over her years, from weight/sugar issues, to wounds that wouldn't heal and varicose veins in her esophagus that caused internal bleeding and low iron count - for several years. Every time she had a new concern, I'd look up 'alcoholism' or 'cirrhosis' and confirm in my mind that , "yep, sure enough. that really is her real problem".....as if I didn't really know and needed proof. I even confronted her out of my desire to have her be healthy and live longer. That was hard. Yet, the doctors would never name it..... even when we called them asking for help. She finally just bled to death - so unnecessary. So, why is it so hard to make the connection?
Excessive alcohol changes so many things in our bodies and minds - the holistic approach would say that when we control/stop excessive drinking, our whole body gets to heal - in so many ways we don't even connect them all.....
Now, you would think this would be enough to make a tee-totaller out of me, but here I am , thinking I might need a little help managing my love of fine wine. No,...... knowing that. perhaps, this revisiting of my Mum's life can be an inspiration - it was something I always had to 'put away' before because I couldn't impact it with her, but maybe I should stop right here & now and remember her, so I can stop the inheritance of destruction.:wow: This is a moment......maybe I can make a difference...if not FOR her, at least I can use her life as a lesson. Wonder what she would think of that? It comes back to SHAME - she lived in that room and might hate it that I am telling the world that my Mom couldn't manage alcohol and that it took over her life....took her life....took part of my life.
Well Mum, I'm taking it back.
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