NEW AND ALONE

[CAPRICORN1]

hi everyone who might read this. i have been reading for four days since i started this mwo program. i had a three day weekend and it was perfect to go through the ucks! i am not new to all this and rarely get through day five, but something feels different this time. we'll see.
my main problem is that i am lonley...i have made my wine my best friend for so long, i don't know how to be without it in public, or with my family. i avoid phone calls and invites when i am abstaining and basically stay in the house alone and watch t.v or sleep or just wait for tomorrow...this sounds weird i know. when tomorrow comes i feel no exitement.
can anyone relate?
i am 43 yr. old female single with no friends....live in florida and everyone my age is married with children, or in a bar somewhere...HELP!!!

[satori]

NEW AND ALONE

Hi Cap

Welcome to MWO.

I'm just back here after a short absence (OK so I "fell off the wagon" so to speak! :upset: ) so I haven't "met" you yet!

I found I had problems being enthusiastic about anything for the first few weeks after I started here.
But as time went on and I had more alcohol free time under my belt, I became quite the opposite - I was really enthusiastic and full of the joys.

Perhaps you need to give it a little time - I think our bodies are ondergoing all sorts of major changes when we take alcohol out of the picture (especially if, like me, one had been abusung it for more than 20 years!)

Stick with us and I am pretty sure things WILL get better.
As you have been thru this before - you already know it is tough - but it NEEDS to be done!
We owe it to ourselves to try to get well - good luck!

Take care

talk to you again I'm sure

Satori
xxx

[Guest]

NEW AND ALONE

Hi Capricorn1 and welcome.

I know exactly how you feel, as I am a 42 yr. old single woman living in Glasgow, whose best friend until recently was wine. But you are not alone, because there are loads of women like us all over the world.

So, as we sit at home in the delightful company of our `best friend`, we are likely to remain alone, unless we make an effort to get some real friends. Have realised that the world ain`t gonna come knocking at my door-I gotta do that for myself, and get `out there` and get involved. And having to do that without the false confidence the wine gives us is very hard to do, but once you reach inside yourself and identify all that you have to offer other people, the prospect of venturing out sober to make friends becomes less daunting.

Am planning to begin an art course in near future which will get me out of the house and allow me to meet people with common interests. So think we just have to find something in which to become involved that doesn`t involve booze is the way forward. Voluntary work is another worthwhile consideration, as you`ll be helping others and making friends along the way.

The wine btl. is probably the easiest remedy to feeling alone, but when it`s gone, it`s gone!!!, and we are back to being alone. What kind of friend is that????

I wish you well,

Starlight Impress

[southernbelle47]

NEW AND ALONE

:welcome: Cap!
I think you will find many women here in your shoes!

Why not start a thread on general or abs monthly and use "single & female in the title.

We are a pretty diverse group and everyone has "friends" in all shapes, sizes and colors.

The main thing that we all have in common is that we want to control our alcohol intake...either abs or mods..

A period of abs is recomended to get started and then see where you would personally go from there.

It helps some (me)to hang with the abs thread as you won't have to read about how much someone is drinking as it can be a trigger.
Just my personal thoughts... If I feel "weak" I just don't go there that day or week....

:goodjob: in making a step in the right dirrection!

:h Nancy

[akay]

NEW AND ALONE

Capricorn:

I am new to this program also. I have not contributed much and am still having trouble talking about my problem.

I understand how you feel because I also am lonely. I wish you luck in finding the right companionship.

[Bella]

NEW AND ALONE

Hello Capricorn and welcome! I know what you mean about feeling lonely and wine being your best friend. I used to drink moderatly when with other people and then when my husband went to bed I would get really friendly with my wine and quietly drink the night away........... When i came to MWO I found so many kind people who knew how to help and support me. You will find the same. There is so much to enjoy in life and we all need to go out and find it. But alcohol can not be a part of that. I got to the stage where I could not face the outside world without a drink but it was wrecking my mental state and then depression sets in. You can do this Capricorn, You have friends here. If you really want to change your life, you can. Keep posting and read all the stories. You are not alone. Love, Bella xxx

[STARLIGHT]

NEW AND ALONE

Capicorn1,

I know how you feel. I just turned 49 and feel isolated and lonely most of the time. Even though I am married, but not happily. My best friend is the wine bottle too. The friends I do have don't know how much I drink. It's my little secret that I feel so guilty about. My husband knows I drink to much and will make comments about it. There's no love and support there. You have come to the right place for friendship and support. I know when I am af for a couple of days I do feel so much better and clearer in my mind. Good luck with the myo program and finding fullfillment in your life.

[IAD]

NEW AND ALONE

Cap,
With MWO your never alone! We're here to hear your problems, your triumphs, etc. Read & place some threads, We're here to help & at the same time help ouselves! IAD:welcome:

[nancy]

NEW AND ALONE

another single female

I know how you feel. Being single is fun in your 20s but in your 30s you look around and everyone has gone and settled down. It can be really hard to deal with. but wine is one of the worst ways. As Starlight said, taking the initiative to get active socially is an alternative to drinking.

hope you become a regular member.

[CAPRICORN1]

NEW AND ALONE

Thank you all!!!! I feel much better and the encouragement helps...cap

[bootcampbarbie]

NEW AND ALONE

hello cap. well you are not alone as we share the same avatar. and i think being lonely happens whether you are married with lots of friends as i have and still those nites when i make that bottle of wine my best friend. don't know when it happened for me cap but i think it started as a child. just a loner so that bottle seemed a great companion. but it is definitely a lie. so as i have found you will as well. this was a beautiful and courageous thread to start. the first start. and keep posting. boots i'm liking the not waking up with a hangover personally. and i'm reaching out to my friends more and on the boards probably not so much. so i'm very proud of your courage.

[betty boop]

NEW AND ALONE

Hi Cap and Welcome .....

You're not lonely anymore, you now have loads of friends all over the world, there is always someone on here 24/7 ...

PS. Florida is my favourite place ever!!! I'm coming back in november for a week ......

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[goingsobermum]

NEW AND ALONE

Embrace the time alone, take time to think, to rest and recover. There are more things out there than family life and sitting in bars. Sitting in bars isn't fun it just fills time and makes you feel shit. Let yourself relax and feel good about what you are doing for yourself and then in time you can find new things to do, both in and out of the home.

[tea]

NEW AND ALONE

Hi Cap, many welcomes to you, really relate to your post and well done for doing so. Yes alcohol has been my friend and my exclusion from friends so you are not alone there, in fact you will never be alone on anything here. Welcome once again, you have just made a whole lot of friends - globally.

Lorna xxx

[louise]

NEW AND ALONE

Hi Capricorn, welcome. And welcome to Akay too. You will both find lots of people to relate to here.