As I stopped to pick up my son from work this evening I watched an elderly woman weave with that old familar stagger across the parking lot, headed towards a bus stop located on a sidewalk next to a very busy street. She stopped at the curb, gingerly stepped over and plopped herself down on the bench.
It was 10:30p.m., windy and I had no idea when the next bus was coming. I watched her as she had two more drinks out of the bottle in her purse and I knew then I couldn't drive away and leave her there.
"Mabel" is 73 and she was looped, had a wad of cash in her purse and was on her way home from bingo. Andrew and I gave her a ride. She was a delight.
She lives alone. She was sad.
My story is way to long to post here. A brief summary:
I am the adult child of an alcoholic father, an emotionally abusive father, and I married a man just like him to get away from him.
My mother was the child of a emotionally frigid man and although she tried to please him she just never could. She taught me that women should "just never mind". Funny, I could never please my father either.
I married the first man that paid me any sort of attention just to get away. The son of alcoholic parents, an alcoholic himself.
I spent 30 years being reminded that I was wrong, stupid, not worth listening to, being smirked at and ignored and because my mother told me to "never mind", I did.
We had three children and I quit my job to stay home with them and I was bored beyond tears. I had 3 babies, the oldest just 3. I was 36 years old and no family to help me. I was tired. I felt like I changed diapers all day long.
My husband was an ass. He would walk in the door after work and start yelling.
Scotch became my bedtime friend after the babies were asleep and it wasn't until years later after the deaths of both of my parents and some ugly family things that it became my daytime friend too.
My husband quit at one point and I became the enemy. The drunk. He became the saint.
He cut me off one day and I seized and ended up in hospital.
I had no choice but to tell my family doctor.
I remember her words, exactly.
"Why didn't you tell me? I would have understood. I have been sober for 9 years."
About a year later, after 3 visits to detox., many, many slips, much guilt and shame and the realization that if I didn't sober up I was going to lose my children I entered rehab.
The best thing I have ever done in my life. I learned so much about ME. I like ME now.
I have recognized the toxic relationships in my life and ended them. One was with my only sister. One was with my husband. I am willing to do anything to remain sober. My children and I are a family, they love me and I love them. I have been sober for 2.5 years.
When I saw Mabel weaving across the parking lot my first thought was "There but for the Grace of God go I."
I'm glad she accepted my offer of a ride home.
Blessings to you all.
magic xx
It was 10:30p.m., windy and I had no idea when the next bus was coming. I watched her as she had two more drinks out of the bottle in her purse and I knew then I couldn't drive away and leave her there.
"Mabel" is 73 and she was looped, had a wad of cash in her purse and was on her way home from bingo. Andrew and I gave her a ride. She was a delight.
She lives alone. She was sad.
My story is way to long to post here. A brief summary:
I am the adult child of an alcoholic father, an emotionally abusive father, and I married a man just like him to get away from him.
My mother was the child of a emotionally frigid man and although she tried to please him she just never could. She taught me that women should "just never mind". Funny, I could never please my father either.
I married the first man that paid me any sort of attention just to get away. The son of alcoholic parents, an alcoholic himself.
I spent 30 years being reminded that I was wrong, stupid, not worth listening to, being smirked at and ignored and because my mother told me to "never mind", I did.
We had three children and I quit my job to stay home with them and I was bored beyond tears. I had 3 babies, the oldest just 3. I was 36 years old and no family to help me. I was tired. I felt like I changed diapers all day long.
My husband was an ass. He would walk in the door after work and start yelling.
Scotch became my bedtime friend after the babies were asleep and it wasn't until years later after the deaths of both of my parents and some ugly family things that it became my daytime friend too.
My husband quit at one point and I became the enemy. The drunk. He became the saint.
He cut me off one day and I seized and ended up in hospital.
I had no choice but to tell my family doctor.
I remember her words, exactly.
"Why didn't you tell me? I would have understood. I have been sober for 9 years."
About a year later, after 3 visits to detox., many, many slips, much guilt and shame and the realization that if I didn't sober up I was going to lose my children I entered rehab.
The best thing I have ever done in my life. I learned so much about ME. I like ME now.
I have recognized the toxic relationships in my life and ended them. One was with my only sister. One was with my husband. I am willing to do anything to remain sober. My children and I are a family, they love me and I love them. I have been sober for 2.5 years.
When I saw Mabel weaving across the parking lot my first thought was "There but for the Grace of God go I."
I'm glad she accepted my offer of a ride home.
Blessings to you all.
magic xx
Suz 
eace:
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