This was posted by determinator, I think it is great, beacuse for 16 yrs Jenny have gone through hell because of my drinking problems, thank God I can now see. This forum is very good, but we can not do it without our families, so friends, I think determinator has said it all.
"Determinator is online a lot. I mean, HOURS every night. When he first found this site in Oct 2006 he shared it with me. When he went into detox and they told him he was not allowed to bring in his computer - panic ensued. He gave me his password so that I could give you all updates, and bring him print outs of the encouragement everyone here offered.
I have to admit that I have had concerns about his spending so much time online. I think that he is able to feel understood by many of you here that have been in his shoes; things that I may never understand.
And his being able to help others is very therapeutic for him. Sometimes on his hard days, he slugs through because he does not want to disappoint those that are counting on him. Whatever works.
I think that once I had Determinator back from the clutches of alcohol, I was so severely neglected in many ways that I just wanted to bathe in him. But he was busy. Because he was now seeing and admitting things he could not before, I felt there were things that I was able to talk to him about now, things he was unwilling to hear before. But he was busy. There were things to cover, discuss, plan; things I had done in his absence before that I now wanted him included in. But he was busy.
As a spouse, we have picked up your slack, covered your arse, put your dead weight to bed, slept on the couch, apologized on your behalf, etc. Sometimes we just need to know that we are still not being left behind.
So I can understand why your spouses, etal feel what they feel. I can also understand the importance of this forum. I am grateful that Determinator has included me. This site is too big and important to him to exclude me. And to share in his sobriety and enjoy the journey with him seemed balanced since I had traveled many a dark road with him.
Sorry to be windy. Just thought I could share on this perspective".
Dx
__________________
* * I love Determinator * *
"Determinator is online a lot. I mean, HOURS every night. When he first found this site in Oct 2006 he shared it with me. When he went into detox and they told him he was not allowed to bring in his computer - panic ensued. He gave me his password so that I could give you all updates, and bring him print outs of the encouragement everyone here offered.
I have to admit that I have had concerns about his spending so much time online. I think that he is able to feel understood by many of you here that have been in his shoes; things that I may never understand.
And his being able to help others is very therapeutic for him. Sometimes on his hard days, he slugs through because he does not want to disappoint those that are counting on him. Whatever works.
I think that once I had Determinator back from the clutches of alcohol, I was so severely neglected in many ways that I just wanted to bathe in him. But he was busy. Because he was now seeing and admitting things he could not before, I felt there were things that I was able to talk to him about now, things he was unwilling to hear before. But he was busy. There were things to cover, discuss, plan; things I had done in his absence before that I now wanted him included in. But he was busy.
As a spouse, we have picked up your slack, covered your arse, put your dead weight to bed, slept on the couch, apologized on your behalf, etc. Sometimes we just need to know that we are still not being left behind.
So I can understand why your spouses, etal feel what they feel. I can also understand the importance of this forum. I am grateful that Determinator has included me. This site is too big and important to him to exclude me. And to share in his sobriety and enjoy the journey with him seemed balanced since I had traveled many a dark road with him.
Sorry to be windy. Just thought I could share on this perspective".
Dx
__________________
* * I love Determinator * *
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