:new: First time here.... my husband has finally gone to sleep after yet another evening of copious amounts of alcohol, insults, expletives and throwing things around the room. I feel like I'm at the end of the road. I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter, a lovely home, my own business and a husband who is the most wonderful man by day, and a totally different person by night. This may sound crazy but his whole appearance changes when he's drunk... his eyes... they're totally different to when he is sober... he almost has this like wild look that comes over him. He has assaulted me once (went to rehab directly after the incident) and has threatened me in a similar way once since, this is over a period of 3 and a half years...
I'm so desperate to help him, and am not dealing with the whole "it's his problem" approach, and "I'm not responsible for his actions". It is so frustrating. He claims it's hell for him when he is that drunk. He is actually scary to watch... he'll bellow like a wild animal, swear and bang things... it's like there's someone inside him that is so frustrated with life, so unbelievably angry and desperate. He'll even discuss his problem in a totally sane way in the morning. The other morning he told me about some injection you can get that makes you violently ill if you even have a drop of alcohol. (Is this so???) But by the evening, the thought of him being in the market for that is laughable...
I'm on an emotional yoyo. The mornings are full of sweet talk, apologies and mature approaches to a serious problem, and the nights are hijacked by a crazy, irrational, scary person let loose by the booze...
I don't know what to do.... one of the things that scares me to death is the thought of something happening to me and my daughter age 3 being left in his care, him getting drunk and something happening to her as a result...I NEVER want her to ever be alone with him or need to depend on him when he is drunk.
I'm going on and on here... just so many thoughts going through my head and actually great to have somewhere to vent... I must confess I'm one of those that puts on the "everything is ok" face with family and friends but am starting to crack up inside. I don't want anyone thinking any less of my husband... but when the monster comes out at night... I detest him.
I wish there was a recipe to make this all go away.
I'm so desperate to help him, and am not dealing with the whole "it's his problem" approach, and "I'm not responsible for his actions". It is so frustrating. He claims it's hell for him when he is that drunk. He is actually scary to watch... he'll bellow like a wild animal, swear and bang things... it's like there's someone inside him that is so frustrated with life, so unbelievably angry and desperate. He'll even discuss his problem in a totally sane way in the morning. The other morning he told me about some injection you can get that makes you violently ill if you even have a drop of alcohol. (Is this so???) But by the evening, the thought of him being in the market for that is laughable...
I'm on an emotional yoyo. The mornings are full of sweet talk, apologies and mature approaches to a serious problem, and the nights are hijacked by a crazy, irrational, scary person let loose by the booze...
I don't know what to do.... one of the things that scares me to death is the thought of something happening to me and my daughter age 3 being left in his care, him getting drunk and something happening to her as a result...I NEVER want her to ever be alone with him or need to depend on him when he is drunk.
I'm going on and on here... just so many thoughts going through my head and actually great to have somewhere to vent... I must confess I'm one of those that puts on the "everything is ok" face with family and friends but am starting to crack up inside. I don't want anyone thinking any less of my husband... but when the monster comes out at night... I detest him.
I wish there was a recipe to make this all go away.
c: :heart:
Comment