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    #1

    Lonely and confused

    Tonight we were going out for Pizza then to see a movie, but then we started talking, and then arguing, and now he is upstairs drinking and Im sitting here feeling fustrated and lonely and sad. I stopped drinking 9 weks ago, with help from AA and these boards. since then my life has turned upside down. We are now heading towards splitting up, every conversation turns ito an argument. I feel so sad all the time. I dont know whats happening to me and tonight it would be so easy to pick up a drink. But I know that even doing that would not lead me back to a state of harmony in my mariage.

    If we split up Im facing financial hardship, I dont know what I'll do for money as I have just started my own business, and my income is pretty low. i probably sound very selfish seeing things in these terms, but I cant stay and live a lie, it wouldnt be fair on either of us. I feel so scared of the future, but can see it coming, as I dont think I can stand much more of this.
    Any advise would be really appreciated. I wish somone could tell me what to do, ( I know no one can) as I'm really struggling with this one

    Geordiegirl
    Tags: None
    #2
    Lonely and confused

    Geordie

    The only advice I have hon, is, don't drink. It won't make things better.

    Take deep breaths and keep moving forward.

    Peace
    K
    Nov 1 2006 avg 100 - 120 drinks/week
    April 29 2011 TSM avg 70 - 80/wk
    wks* 1- 6: 256/1AF (avg 42.6/wk)
    wks* 7-12: 229/3AF (avg 38.1/wk)
    wks 13-18: 192/5AF (avg 32.0/wk)
    wks 19-24: 176/1AF (avg 29.3/wk)
    wks 25-30: 154/10AF (avg 25.6/wk)
    wks 31-36: 30/37AF (avg 5/wk )

    I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.
    http://www.thesinclairmethod.net/community/

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      #3
      Lonely and confused

      Thanks Katie

      Comment

        #4
        Lonely and confused

        Nov 1 2006 avg 100 - 120 drinks/week
        April 29 2011 TSM avg 70 - 80/wk
        wks* 1- 6: 256/1AF (avg 42.6/wk)
        wks* 7-12: 229/3AF (avg 38.1/wk)
        wks 13-18: 192/5AF (avg 32.0/wk)
        wks 19-24: 176/1AF (avg 29.3/wk)
        wks 25-30: 154/10AF (avg 25.6/wk)
        wks 31-36: 30/37AF (avg 5/wk )

        I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.
        http://www.thesinclairmethod.net/community/

        Comment

          #5
          Lonely and confused

          Family Drinking

          I can relate!!! My husband and I argue most when we are both drinking. When I go without for a few nights, I find I cannot tolerate him because we are in different mind sets.Then I decide I need to drink to put up the the mind set.... vicious circle!!

          You are doing great since you quit 9 weeks ago and are sticking to it! I admire you for not giving in to the drink. Wish I could do that more.

          Would it be possible for you to stay with a family member or friend a few days, and take a break from each other?

          moonlight
          It is never to late!

          Comment

            #6
            Lonely and confused

            did u ever try to talk to a therapist and possible antidepressants? it sounds like u were drining partly to medicate yourself, like me. i also drink bc i have the genetic disease, but the depression worsens it..

            Comment

              #7
              Lonely and confused

              CONGRATULATIONS on the 9 weeks

              Do you have friends or family you could stay with for a while? That may just give hubby a wake up call and it could be a good break for you to sort your head out. Break-ups are never easy, and it?s possible you wont have to if he is shocked enough to make some changes. Best wishes to you and congratulations on the 9 weeks. Aunty Vic :goodjob:

              Comment

                #8
                Lonely and confused

                Greenie is in the boat and looks around and there your are, right behind her! Did you bring a paddle? I would think you might consider seeing a therapist first. You may need legal advice at this point because of your business and you can just do a couple consultations to see where you stand to relieve your anxiety and keep you from the drinkies. Knowledge is rather grounding. Just my two cents. Hope that helps. Well actually you're in front with you admirable 9 weeks. You lead. I'll follow.
                sigpic
                Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                Comment

                  #9
                  Lonely and confused

                  hi there.. awesome 9 weeks keep it up and stay strong.it sounds like you are going threw a ruogh time .
                  like alot of the others said it might be a good ideal for you to take a break and go to a friends or one of your family member.i know when me and my gf were having problem with my drink she lied to get away from me and it work in a good way for both of us and we are still together today and we both dont drink now .but she can if she wants to but i know i cant anymore and my gf ask me to say this for her that she choose not to drink anymore so for now best wishes for you and good luck
                  :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                  best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Lonely and confused

                    Thanks for the support

                    Hi All and thank you for the support. I have decided that a bit of distance between us would be no bad thing and as a result I'm going to stay with a friend for a while. My husband is in agreement that we need a break and are getting nowhere arguing day after day, and that we are going round in circles. The atmosphere between us has improved since we both made the decision that I would leave for a while. I have a lot of support from my friends and family, and its also good to have your support here on these message boards. You are echoeing what my friends and family think I should do. A bit of perspective and taking a step back from things may help.

                    Geordiegirl :thanks:

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Lonely and confused

                      Hi Geordiegirl.....

                      Well done on 9 weeks, I hope things work out for you and your hubby, good luck with the business too... If it helps I think you're doing the right thing... Good luck!!!!
                      TIGGER1 :l
                      _____________

                      Formerly Mr Boop

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Lonely and confused

                        Geordiegirl,

                        are you back online yet?
                        Just checking in to see how you are?

                        Heavenly
                        ?We are one another's angels?
                        Sober since 29/04/2007

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Lonely and confused

                          I hope you found the peace you were looking for, how are you?
                          "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Lonely and confused

                            geordigirl.

                            Would love to hear from you......did you make the move? How are things going? Glad to hear that you have support from friends and family. I hope that you are well, and figuring things out.

                            xx KateH
                            A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                            AF 12/6/2007

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