Peace

[Determinatrix]

I saw Oprah today, a story about a father who tried to save his son from addiction. Beautiful Boy: A Father's Heartache, An Addict Son

At the end of the segment, they spoke to another family who tried to save their son from his addiction. Their son was in the hospital being treated with methadone for heroin addiction. When he was first admitted, mother stated that her son was just a shell of his former self. When her son died, and she saw her dead son's face, she cried because he seemed completely at "peace".

This broke my heart. As loved ones we feel we are trying to save your lives. We nag, cry, negotiate, etc believing that maybe we can save you. Only to find out in the end that letting you go offered you the greatest peace.

I know that I will never understand the pain and torture of this issue. I hope that each and every one of your find your way out so that you can begin to enjoy life and receive the love from those that love you.
Dx

[Thankful]

Peace

Wow, Dx. Thanks for putting that out there. I hope it's read by those who really need to see it.

Hang tough, lady.

Love, Me
:l

[Cinders]

Peace

Dx,

I simply cannot watch the video.

I just got a call my my SIL. Adrienne was up four times last night pooping pure bright red blood. SIL said it was large quantities. She refused to go to hospital or doctor.

He got home after picking up Li'l Bit and walked in the door and Adrienne was totally drunk. She is passed out right now.

My heart is thudding in my chest.

I told Brandon to keep and eye on her and call 911 if anything serious happens.

I am tied up with Greg tomorrow but will make arrangements to get her to hospital if at all possible.

She needs to go into hospital first, then rehab. Period.

Please all, pray for my girl and her life and her sobriety.

I am one scared and crying mama.

Cindi
XXV

[Determinatrix]

Peace

Cindi - I am so sorry.
I hope that she let's you help her.

Keep your sobriety important.
Sending you my most positive thoughts.

Dx

[Cinders]

Peace

All,

Is there a way to force someone into rehab against their will? I think her hubby would consider it, too. He is also scared to death.

Cindi
XXV

[wonderworld]

Peace

Cindi - I'm right here by the phone - give me a call if you can or want to.

[Determinatrix]

Peace

You can call 911 and they will come get her.
They won't let her die, and she will sober up while she is in there.
They can then transfer her to a detox or rehab.

Dx

[Thankful]

Peace

Cindi, hun, I just PM'd you with some info that may be helpful.

I'm praying for her, you and your entire family.

You are a very strong person.

Love, Me
:l

[MyOwnWoman]

Peace

Dx, thank you for the beautiful sentiments. You are so wise and loving and generous in acknowledging the difficulty of the alcoholic's plight, and of course, the plight of those who love the one addicted.

Cindi - I'm so sorry for your sorrow. I can't imagine.

Not sure if this is appropriate here, but wanted to share a thought...
(preamble - I grew up in an abusive, alcoholic household)

When I was 12 years old I remember weeks of trying to figure out how I could end my life without it being too grotesque for my mom. I was desperate for death to steal away my despair (or to steal me away from despair).
I seriously wanted to die, the pain was too much.
Then a few weeks into my plotting my 16 yo brother killed himself.

Upon being witness to my family's suffering - especially my mom's - I knew I could no longer entertain such thoughts. I could not bring to her such pain.

For years that dragged into decades, I felt a prisoner of "life." I wanted out so bad, many times, but knew I couldn't escape because of the pain I'd cause. By the time my mom died I had a daughter...

Here I am now, 42 years old, and remembering all this. I have been a 'drinker to excess' for well over 20 years. So many times I wanted to check out and felt trapped by my compassion for those who loved me.

Turns out that that I am now feeling like a bright light. I am joyful for life. I am grateful for life - not only the good that has come to pass, but for the struggles that have breathed strength into my spirit just in having come to the other side of each and every one of them, and finally knowing I will no longer settle for being in pain, in suffering.

Point is ... nobody who loved me saved me.
I SAVED ME. And through trials that could never have been planned by anyone, no matter how much they loved me. It all came from me.

30 years ago I abandoned thoughts of killing myself by knife. A few months ago I abondoned the behavior of killing myself by drinking to excess every day.

Nobody did this but me.

If I had perished, by knife or gun, by drunken driving or liver disease, only ME had killed me.
I have not perished by knife or gun, or by drunken driving or liver disease. Only ME has save me from such fates.

To those who feel responsible for the fates of their loved ones... Our fates are our own. Hold no responsibily or credit for the fate of the one you love.

[MyOwnWoman]

Peace

Upon further ruminating about my above post, I feel impelled to say more because it may be of comfort to family members...

I have no close friends. My remaining family is thousands of miles away and rarely if ever contact me. I have had no successful romantic relationships.
Point being, to summarize... I have traversed from drunken hopelessness to a passion for living all on my own. And there is no way that any other being on earth could have gotten me here but ME.


I have a little brother. The youngest of 7 messed up kids, and he's the most messed up of all. There were times when I suffered for his pains, wanted to save him from his own hell, til I had to give up for my own sake. And for years I have felt immense guilt for letting go.
Now I realize that I had to let go to allow him the opportunity to find his own way. He may, or he may not.
It is not my charge to influence his fate. and now in realizing that I have released my pain and guilt for not offering him that which I couldnt' offer anyway.

Jimmy, I love you, and I hope that someday you find peace. It is yours - and only yours - to find.

[doubter]

Peace

MyOwnWoman;310107 wrote:
If I had perished, by knife or gun, by drunken driving or liver disease, only ME had killed me.
I have not perished by knife or gun, or by drunken driving or liver disease. Only ME has save me from such fates.

... Our fates are our own.

Great words...great insight...



D

[Determinatrix]

Peace

MOW - I am not brave enough to walk a mile in your shoes.
I admire how far you have traveled to reach your sobriety.

Dx