Hi everyone, am very relieved to find this site and hope that those who are already here don't mind me joining. I actually don't drink alcohol ever. I'm in the Uk. I would be very grateful for any insights especially from thise who have had a problem with alcohol abuse or may be parents worried about their teens. My daughter is telling me that her drinking problem is all in "my head" but to be honest, she could make you think you had stolen your own car at the best of times.....I think I am being manipulated again.
I live alone with my almost 19yr old daughter who drinks every Friday and Saturday night to extremes, it's started to spill into Thursdays or wednesdays. last week she went to work after being up all night and not sleeping then came home and went out again. I mostly do not see the terrible states she describes herself as getting in to at times as she sleeps out. Also on occasion she won't get too drunk to get home but is always what I would describe as drunk. I realised when she was 14 there's nothing I can do to stop her from drinking although I did try as best as I could, phoned all the other parents to try and stop our children drinking together etc but they wouldn't help me as they drink too and think it's ok to give kids booze. She has been a problem since then. It's been years of hell with extreme behaviours and finally the drinking is the icing on the cake. She assures me that this was normal and most of her friends do what she does, disrespecting parents, telling them to F. Off when they are angry, screaming the house down and binge drinking and that I am deluded to think otherwize. It has been steadily getting worse.
She drank all of her monthly wage yet again,( she's even sold things she has bought because she drank money needed for the rest of the month.) This month however she stayed in for two weeks saying she had learned her lesson. On Thursday she got paid at midnight and went out to go to a club, she didn't come home all night. I found out friday that she hadn't slept and went to work in dirty clothes. She came home bathed and went to her friend to sleep there. she said she wouldn't drink but later I found she had . She came home and went out at 9pm Saturday .
Sunday 5pm I recieve a call from her in a terrible state, crying , slurring her words, telling me she had thought she had been drugged the night before. She had managed to get from one friend's house to the others. I have to say had she not said she was afraid she had been drugged I wouldn't have gone to get her but I was frightened.
It transpired she had drank from the time she went out till after 4pm the next day without sleep and at times alone. she left her friends house at 4pm carrying a glass of wine in the street and walking along to the other friends drinking it. Then she called me !! Of course this wasn't what she told me, Her friends were fine and were concerned for her. I saw a doctor at the hospital who said she had just been drinking very heavily. I got so mad with a mix of fear and anger and told her off when we got back into the car. She then became abusive telling me I didn't care about her, that the state she was in was partly my fault, becoming so agressive verbally, screaming to be let out of the car eventually I had had enough and let her out. She staggered off drunk and stayed out all that night, went to work in the morning in filthy clothes, unwashed, wreaking of alcohol. her friend called me to let me know she would be there.
Now I have banned all alcohol and told her to be in by midnight ot the locks will be changed. She tells me, there is no problem with her drinking, it's all in my head. She would rather leave than not drink on her birthday late November.
I realised today that I have to get her to leave and that by living with me I am enabling her to steadily get worse. She says I am mentally ill and haven't a clue.
Anyone?
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