Now comes the pain

[Pollianna]

Have only posted one thread here so far. My daughter's drinking and general behaviour towards me has been problematic since she was 9, though she started drinking at 14. I have banned alcohol and she's determined to move out as a result. We spoke about it today and she will be gone by Christmas....

I'm alone due to this relationship userping every ounce of energy I have had over the last 10 yrs and her sabotaging every attempt to meet or be with a man since my boyfriend died when she was 7. My Mother died 8 months before and I must admit that I went a little crazy...I drank then to stop myself from commiting suicide but haven't touched a drink in 11 yrs. I was involved in an automobile accident 3 yrs later and haven't fully recovered. I have osteo arthritus and Fibromyalgia. I have two friends in the world who are really aquaintences. Just returned to work but in company my self esteem and confidence is so low that I have panic. we have no family and her Father has left the country.....

She's gone out to meet her boyfriend quite happy in herself and is more interested in how she can get drunk on her 19th birthday than anything......I'm totally heartbroken but part of me feels that the out of control drinking was her way of trying to get me to kick her out because we definately do need to part. Never thought it would be so hard

[needachange]

Now comes the pain

I am sorry to hear your pain. There are many who can support you here. May need to go to general discussion. there are many more people on boards. I have been alcohol free for 25 days now. A first for me except the 3 times I was pregnant and my youngest is 9. It is hard for people who do not have a drinking problem to understand. I would take care of yourself and your needs first. There is not much you can do except love and pray that your daughter will one day want to stop. And hope that day is not too late. She is the only one who can make that decision. Moving out may be a new reality check for her. Does her boyfriend drink heavily too.

Good luck.

[needachange]

Now comes the pain

Oh yeah, great job on quitting drinking for 11 years!!!!!!!Hooray.

[Carmac]

Now comes the pain

Polli -

As hard as it is to say this, yes....she needs to feel her oats and there is nothing you could do but "be there". It is hard....trust me. I have 26, 23 AND 21 year old. The elder two were easy but the younger....well, lets just say is trying and keeps me up.

But I will say, being there has helped. The communication is getting better. I am available, non judgemental and there.

Hope this helps

[Pollianna]

Now comes the pain

Well done, need a change and thank you Carnack, hope I remembered your names correctly, am shot to bits at the mo. I am trying to just numb everyhting out until she does go, trying not to feel is hard isn't it.

One of the things I remember when I last drank was returning to reality and the feelings coming flooding back, watch out for that need a change. :l