After about 3 months we started seeing a LOT more of each other. I soon realised he had an alcohol problem. He would get up on a sunday morning and crack open a beer hiding it from his parents. Sometimes over the summer he would drink up to 3 bottles of wine a day. Now I know from reading up, that I am probably a co-dependant, and an enabler.. in that he hasn't had a job since the end of January and has been living off my earnings, betting with the money I have "given" him.
When he gets drunk he shadow-boxes and playfights. Every friday night and saturday night he HAS to go out in town drinking, always without me and meets his buddies then comes home at 2am when the pubs shut. He knows he is causing his body damage and on occasions has asked me if he has liver cancer to which i reply why don't we go to the doctors and get you checked out. He promises every monday morning that this week will be different but after not drinking at all on a monday he drinks on a tuesday and each day gradually increases it until the weekend when he's continually drunk. I'm 27, he is 30 - I found out a couple of months ago that he is 5 years older than he told me when we met.
He has hit me a couple of times... as in not playfighting. Once he came home from the pub and elbowed my face leaving me with a black eye. Another time he came back during the day after an all night bender at a party, I got angry, he kicked me in the stomach and pinned me to the bed. I know that my head is telling me to walk away now, before things get worse and before it destroys me. but my heart is telling me to stay and try and help him. He is also emotionally abusive, calls me names about my weight, about me being weak etc. Sometimes he comes back and tells me he wants a baby girl with me... sometimes he comes back and is in a foul mood.
Can and will it ever get better. What can I do to change things (I know I cant change him, i need to change myself). I was booked in for counselling, but I can't afford to go at the moment. Oh and sex life = non existant.
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