I stumbled across this forum by following a link from the Spectator and have been reading the stories in this section. My partner is downstairs drinking wine and I am upstairs crying while I read this because it reflects exactly what I have been going through the last year and a bit.
We have had some very rough times, complicated by the fact that he also suffers from depression. He was on medication for this (paroxetine, also known here as Aropax) but went off it beginning of last year and the drinking started, and has caused no end of problems since. I have lost a few friends in the course of this, some of them good too. And last week he hit me for the first time, which was a huge shock for me.
As part of the fallout from this we are splitting/ seperating hopefully on a trial basis. We will be together for the next six weeks until he moves into a place of his own. From reading some of the threads it looks as if I am codependent, which has not helped.
I dearly love him, and he is a wonderful man, gentle, kind and loving, until he gets drunk.... He does acknowledge that he has a problem, and sometimes stops for a short while, but then it starts again. He did start taking his meds again in February, and I hoped things would get better after that. But they haven't. Hopefully once he has moved out he will actually start to heal and get better.
He does have a number of issues which complicate matters, but if the drinking stopped then maybe he could deal with all the other stuff properly.
At the moment though, it is a matter of getting through this day by day. Every time he starts drinking I am getting so stressed and anxious and depressed, I dont know how to handle it. I am having real trouble putting a brave face on it, but I have to keep going to work and also have to do a couple of speeches in the next couple of weeks. Not too intimidating in themselves but on top of everyting else I am feeling overwhelmed.
I hope things will get better for all of us
Regards
Peter
We have had some very rough times, complicated by the fact that he also suffers from depression. He was on medication for this (paroxetine, also known here as Aropax) but went off it beginning of last year and the drinking started, and has caused no end of problems since. I have lost a few friends in the course of this, some of them good too. And last week he hit me for the first time, which was a huge shock for me.
As part of the fallout from this we are splitting/ seperating hopefully on a trial basis. We will be together for the next six weeks until he moves into a place of his own. From reading some of the threads it looks as if I am codependent, which has not helped.
I dearly love him, and he is a wonderful man, gentle, kind and loving, until he gets drunk.... He does acknowledge that he has a problem, and sometimes stops for a short while, but then it starts again. He did start taking his meds again in February, and I hoped things would get better after that. But they haven't. Hopefully once he has moved out he will actually start to heal and get better.
He does have a number of issues which complicate matters, but if the drinking stopped then maybe he could deal with all the other stuff properly.
At the moment though, it is a matter of getting through this day by day. Every time he starts drinking I am getting so stressed and anxious and depressed, I dont know how to handle it. I am having real trouble putting a brave face on it, but I have to keep going to work and also have to do a couple of speeches in the next couple of weeks. Not too intimidating in themselves but on top of everyting else I am feeling overwhelmed.
I hope things will get better for all of us
Regards
Peter
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