Hi, New here

[thirdsister]

Hi, New here

Mom2ajt...I think I see what is being said. For example, if a husband who doesn't drink, says mean and hurtful things to his wife and then she uses AL to console herself...it isn't the husband's fault or within his control that she chooses to use alcohol as a coping mechanism...but neither is his behavior acceptable. Is that sort of what everyone is saying?

[mom2ajt]

Hi, New here

thirdsister;634109 wrote: Mom2ajt...I think I see what is being said. For example, if a husband who doesn't drink, says mean and hurtful things to his wife and then she uses AL to console herself...it isn't the husband's fault or within his control that she chooses to use alcohol as a coping mechanism...but neither is his behavior acceptable. Is that sort of what everyone is saying?

Yes, I think so. That is what I think anyways. My dad could be really nasty when he drank and would say awful things to my mom. She chose to put up with it for 30+ years so he had no incentive to do anything about it - it was like there was no consequence for his action. I guess it just made it a little easier for him to drink - of course that wasn't her fault but she chose to basically ignore his nastiness which on some level made it easier for him to act that way. Alcoholics can be very selfish. When I would drink too much in the past I could always reason it out........it was always some external force or thing that "made" me do it or "entitled" me to do it.

BTW - I read all the stuff about your sister in another thread. I hope things work out for your family. It does sound like a very stressful time for everyone. I am sure it is very difficult for you and your parents. I wish you the best and will keep you in m prayers.

[thirdsister]

Hi, New here

thank you

[sparrow]

Hi, New here

Hi June, Im trying to quit drinking which I started partially to deal with all the alcoholics in my life. ummm not too smart so dont try this. I would be lost without al-anon.
I quit drinking and am getting healthy.
You shouldn't stay in a miserable or dangerous situation. Sometimes the best thing we can do is detach and let them deal with their problem. You have a right to live your life without the insanity. I have a brother and a son who are addicts I know how painful it is to let go. good luck to you. If you dont like your al-anon group find another one or better still go to as many as you can.
KEEP COMING BACK IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!
Good luck

Sparrow

[techie]

Hi, New here

Tough situation June, but I sincerely wish you all the best. Absolutely GREAT advice and comments in this thread...WOW!