My husband has been drinking heavily for several years it had less impact on us as a family initially as he tended to do so at night when we were all asleep and as he is still very functional work wise. At that time it was worrying for me but not having a dramatic effect on our kids. However in the last 6-10 months his drinking has dramatically worsened he is getting drunk during the day and sometimes though very occasionally and less severely when he is meant to be the one watching our kids as I work part time. They are both now very aware of when daddy gets drunk or has too much and are beginning to find it distressing.
He has just had two bad nights and last night he was so drunk he began hallucinating it was early evening, we all came back from work and classes and he was completely unaware of time and place he was yelling at at something/someone he thought was there in the kids room while the kids were in there and of course they were very distressed by this. I calmed them down and fortunately I had someone with me who sat with them and kept them occupied whilst I tried to get him to go and lie down and sleep it off. He kept getting up one minute yelling at the people under the bed and then next as calm as anything asking me if I am ok and whats my problem. He was flailing about all over the place swearing and calling for me to help him get rid of the two people watching him beside the bed it was very disturbing to watch. He would be very distressed at one point and near comatose the next I find when he is drunk it is best not to argue with him as he gets quite verbally aggressive he will call me names and be very nasty he doesn't get purposely violent but you can see he is seething with self pity and anger and he just becomes poisonous.We have had stuff kicked and thrown doors slammed off their hinges and he has kicked me once in a half dreaming state.
I try to not nag him about his drinking he complains it is all I talk about I try to just tell him about what he does when drunk and how it affects me and the kids.He has when a bit drunk admitted he has a problem and even asked me to get him info on getting help however he is always not so interested the morning after. He always says sorry about what he has done but then goes and does the same thing over. He has even visited this site after I showed him the link he was interested in moderating and feels he could do so and he did try to control his drinking with little success.
Ok so here is why I am here this is now beginning to have a real negative impact on the kids my oldest fortunately is very expressive and can talk her feelings through about this however she is a real coper and I worry about how this affects her more long term.
My youngest is less expressive but has made some comments about daddy being mean when he is drunk and how she doesn't like it.
I love my husband dearly and I want us to stay together I want this to work out and I want to be there for him however I am concerned about the kids and whether going on like this is the right thing to do. I know I cannot change him the change must come from him he needs to have the desire himself.
Moving out is very difficult we live overseas away from family my income is not enough to get us a place. I dont feel able to confide with anyone about these problems I would feel I was letting him down.
Please can you give some advice experiences also these hallucinations are concerning me does anyone have any exp of that.
Thanks in advance s.indigo.
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