confrontation or not?

[hellocookie]

I'm not sure what to do. My husband is having a hard time with my NOT drinking. He continues to drink the way he always does (most of the time to excess). I'm feeling better about myself for not drinking but I am increasingly becoming less tolerant of his drinking, moodiness, angry outbursts, being overly critical (generally of our boys) and talking to me like I'm stupid (which really gets under my skin). I have been working on just letting it all roll off my back and gritting my teeth but, I know I won't last long with that. He asked me "What's going on with you? I know there's something." I said "No there's nothing, I just want to slow down how much I drink, like I told you. So unfortunately I can't hang out with you so much while you're having a few beers." He actually is the one who is acting weird. I can't put my finger on it but he is acting guilty and as though we are all against him so he cops an attitude with me and my older two children. When we try to have a conversation and it is not in the "tone" he expects or wants he gets pissy and walks away without finishing the conversation or he raises his voice to about yelling and again leaves the room stating he's "done" with this converstation. Last night he came home after stopping at a bar with his work buddies. He was there for about 2 hours. Once he came home he brought nachos from the place. Well he opens up the container and practically inhales the stuff talking while he's eating saying how great the nachos were. Then calls my son in and say try this. my son did not really want any nor did I but we both had some so he wouldn't get an attitiude with us. I broght my son to his girlfriend's house after that and my husband fell asleep on the family room floor for the rest of the evening. I was hoping that he would because I just didn't want to deal with him. I kind of feel like the more he drinks the less I want to....oh it's going to be tough in this house. So anyway any suggestions (he says he wants to slow down his drinking but I think he dosen't think he has a problem). I almost want to tell him to leave so he can get his shit together.

[LVT25]

confrontation or not?

Hellocookie

I have a very similar situation in my house. Sometimes it seems more than I can bear, other times it's ok. My hubby doesn't say much about my not drinking, but I know he wishes I still did, and can't really understand why I don't. We have a terrible time communicating, and I tend to get irritated with him when he has had too much.
I try really hard to stay busy with my own things and with the boys. I tend to need the approval of others around me in order to be happy, so sometimes this seems really tough.
I wish I had some better advice for you, but sometimes it's nice to know there are other in similar situations. Feel free to pm me anytime. :h

[hellocookie]

confrontation or not?

Thanks LV, I know what you say, I too look for others to approve (which I know is stupid and worthless) but, it gives me self worth. I hate confrontation and I hate to fight but he is pushing I think or he just can't deal with the fact that I don't need AL to deal with the everyday things anymore. I also try to find my own things to do to keep my idle hands busy Last weekend my 6 year old daughter had a birthday party to attend from 6-8 pm . i dropped her off at the party and she didn't want me to stay so I went shopping instead of going home. Well of course my husband calls me about an hour into shopping (I didn't hear the phone so I didn't answer). I realize he called around 7:45 so I call him back and he asks where I am. I said right now I'm outside the party picking our daughter up. I then told him I went shopping...he says oh I thought you were coming home after dropping her off. I didn't want to go home because I know he would have wanted to have "happy hour" at home then probably sex (which is increasingly less appealing with a drunk LOL). I was not interested in either one so I went shopping which was much more productive (bought 3 new tops and a really nice sweater) Well I know the tension will increase or he will realize he is being irrational.
Oh well,
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