Hello,
I need help with what to do about my 36 year old daughter and what I suspect is her alcoholism.
As a small child she was always very anxious. For example, she felt sad even if she was going someplace with her dad and I was left at home. She felt badly leaving me. Her little sister was born when she was 3 years old and she would hardly leave the house. Didn't want to go to pre-school or to play at her friends' houses, etc. I did very much try to entice her to do these things which probably wasn't the thing to do in retrospect.
She was a bit above average as a student, had friends, and was a pretty good athlete. I suspect she started drinking in high school although we never caught her. The first time I remember being a little concerned was visiting her in college and going to a football game. She and her roommate had stocked up on beer, and even wine just for me. She told me that often they would just stay in the parking lot and drink and not even go in to the game. At that time, we thought it might just be typical college stuff. She lived at home for a very short time between college and her new job as a teacher and I remember her and her girlfriend sitting in her bedroom drinking beer. She was 21 and although I didn't like it, I didn't quite know what to do about it other than express my disapproval.
Well, over the years I suspect she has kept drinking. I think it may be to cover her anxiety. She has told me she has panic attacks and they truly frighten her. She has kept her job and takes pride in it. When we met to walk in the summer mornings, I could smell liquor on her breath. When I'd mention it, she'd say, "Oh really, well we had a bottle of wine last night". She is married and I think her husband also drinks although not as much as she does. I suspect she drinks a whole lot and her husband doesn't really know. She has stopped going golfing, skiing, almost everything she used to love. She works and she stays home. My husband and I cannot remember the last time we saw her that didn't involve drinking. She doesn't go out to bars although she will meet friends there. I think that is about her only outside activity.
Just this year she is becoming more withdrawn and only seems to contact us when she wants something. She denies she has a problem of course. My husband and I are truly heartbroken and don't know what to do. Please, please, please give us your suggestions.
I should say that the entire time she lived at home, neither my husband nor I drank at all other than the few occasions we'd go out or have company over so she did not grow up with parents who drank other than occasionally. SInce then, I have evolved into drinking wine quite a bit and am now trying to stop. So far four days without wine. I don't think we were good influences on her other than that I worked very long hours and I know I should have paid more attention to her.
Also, my dad, her grandpa, was definitely an alcoholic and she was around him a lot. He loved her to pieces and she loved him and I'm not aware of any negative occurrences there.
Thank you.
I need help with what to do about my 36 year old daughter and what I suspect is her alcoholism.
As a small child she was always very anxious. For example, she felt sad even if she was going someplace with her dad and I was left at home. She felt badly leaving me. Her little sister was born when she was 3 years old and she would hardly leave the house. Didn't want to go to pre-school or to play at her friends' houses, etc. I did very much try to entice her to do these things which probably wasn't the thing to do in retrospect.
She was a bit above average as a student, had friends, and was a pretty good athlete. I suspect she started drinking in high school although we never caught her. The first time I remember being a little concerned was visiting her in college and going to a football game. She and her roommate had stocked up on beer, and even wine just for me. She told me that often they would just stay in the parking lot and drink and not even go in to the game. At that time, we thought it might just be typical college stuff. She lived at home for a very short time between college and her new job as a teacher and I remember her and her girlfriend sitting in her bedroom drinking beer. She was 21 and although I didn't like it, I didn't quite know what to do about it other than express my disapproval.
Well, over the years I suspect she has kept drinking. I think it may be to cover her anxiety. She has told me she has panic attacks and they truly frighten her. She has kept her job and takes pride in it. When we met to walk in the summer mornings, I could smell liquor on her breath. When I'd mention it, she'd say, "Oh really, well we had a bottle of wine last night". She is married and I think her husband also drinks although not as much as she does. I suspect she drinks a whole lot and her husband doesn't really know. She has stopped going golfing, skiing, almost everything she used to love. She works and she stays home. My husband and I cannot remember the last time we saw her that didn't involve drinking. She doesn't go out to bars although she will meet friends there. I think that is about her only outside activity.
Just this year she is becoming more withdrawn and only seems to contact us when she wants something. She denies she has a problem of course. My husband and I are truly heartbroken and don't know what to do. Please, please, please give us your suggestions.
I should say that the entire time she lived at home, neither my husband nor I drank at all other than the few occasions we'd go out or have company over so she did not grow up with parents who drank other than occasionally. SInce then, I have evolved into drinking wine quite a bit and am now trying to stop. So far four days without wine. I don't think we were good influences on her other than that I worked very long hours and I know I should have paid more attention to her.
Also, my dad, her grandpa, was definitely an alcoholic and she was around him a lot. He loved her to pieces and she loved him and I'm not aware of any negative occurrences there.
Thank you.
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
I am not saying i am all better. Just saying I don't want to go back to that ugly place of sitting in the garage drinking and smoke to numb the pain. 
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