Mrs Macks my story

[Mrs Macks]

Hello again everyone, i don't really know where to start....First off i think i'll start by saying me and macks have been together for 14 years and have 5 beautiful children. I think it was in about 1998/99 when he first told me he thought he had a drinking problem, But we did'nt know what to do...It was'nt untill i noticed his drinking was getting worse as the years went by. I would always ask him are you drinking tonight, i already knew the answer, but thought i'd ask anyway. But when he would get to about 4.30pm he would make sure he had his beer in...I did'nt know how to handle this so i suppose i just ignored it. Then in 2005/6 we both started talking to each other alot more about how much he was drinking and why he drank every night, He wanted to sort himself out but he did'nt know how too. From my side it is very difficult and emotional living with an alcoholic, I felt like i was on my own doing everything on my own. This is so difficult i've never put my feelings into words before...just going to take a break be back later..


:l Lisa x

[southernbelle47]

Mrs Macks my story

Your doing geat, Lisa.....
XOXOXOXO from here!
Nancy

[dove]

Mrs Macks my story

Wow, you are one hell of a woman to stick with him! He's a very lucky man!
Dove

[Mackeral]

Mrs Macks my story

Dont i know it.

[weemelonhead]

Mrs Macks my story

Hi Lisa....Mrs, you are the biz!! If you've had to put up with anything LIKE my poor dear old boy has, then I sympathize fully....The partner of an alcoholic does lead a very lonely life it's true...The bald has spent every night 'on his own' for years, as I have sat fuzzed in yet another alcoholic stupor, or have gone to bed at 6:30 pm just to try and stop drinking. he has felt he has had to apologise for huuuugggee and monstrous and many behaviours of mine over the years, and has been embarrased and traumatised beyond belief by my actions....and yet still he stays......
We are VERY lucky people to have such steadfast partners by our sides, and believe me...we never forget it, even when it looks like we just don't give a damn....guilt has fuelled many of my drinking binges...i then go on to repeat exactly the sort of behaviours that caused me to get that bottle out of the cupboard in the first place!!
here's hoping that everybody that is in a situation like you and the Bald has a happier and easier life, by god you REALLY deserve it....many thanks to you all....always.....

[southernbelle47]

Mrs Macks my story

LISA..........
ELVIS IS NOT DEAD???????

LET HIM OUT OF THAT BROOMCUPBOARD GIRL!!!!!!!!

NO...NEVER MIND.....SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK I WANT TO SEE HIM REALLY OLD!!!!!!! I'LL JUST KEEP THAT YOUNG PICTURE OF HIM IN MY DREAMS!

:h NANCY

[Beaches]

Mrs Macks my story

You are doing great Lisa, I agree, This is tough stuff to talk about. It is so good for us to hear though. Us meaning the one's who are drinking and affecting our families. Thank you for taking the time to post.

[dilayne]

Mrs Macks my story

Lisa, what a loving thing for you to do to come here..it says a lot about you and Macks. Your children are really lucky to have the two of you. My husband and I have quit together (he could apparently take it or leave it and realized that it was much harder for me..) it meant everything to me that he would do whatever he could to help me, and he did. His love and support made all of the difference in the world. I don't think I could have stopped if he continued. We drank together, and before he had the AHA moment, he would bring me wine when he knew I didn't really want it..I would drink it, but I didn't feel loved and taken care of by him then because I knew that he really didn't get it...I just wanted to say it's really great that you can work together with this.
Di

[irishlady]

Mrs Macks my story

Lisa, that post was very moving and it must have been hard for you to open up like that on here....especially the line....I felt as if I was on my own, doing everything on my own...well my girl you ARE NOT ON YOUR OWN ANY MORE...you have just got yourself stuck with the lot of us....anytime you feel the pressure building or you just want to have a bit of a rant then come on here, believe me it really does help...Oh and before I forget.....we'll all be round for tea tomorrow....See ya..

Love Louise xxx

[boycie]

Mrs Macks my story

Lisa,
Thank you it is good to see it from the other side especially for us that have lost through drinking, those of us that have not been as lucky as Mack and others to have strong partners that have stuck it out for the for ever after. If you can find the strength to continue on I would love to know exactly how I have made the other person truely feel during the past 25 or so years of drinking as I can only tell it from my perspective. Macks you are a very lucky guy to have such a truely wonderful woman at your side. We are truely blessed to have such a wonderful couple that are so willing to share their experiences to help others. Thank you from us all. Kim

[blue]

Mrs Macks my story

My thoughts

This is my very first post on here i do not have a problem with alcohol but my partner has i have been looking at this site for a few weeks now and i feel the need to say something I know what it is like to feel let down time and time again by a drunken partner I have heard evey excuse that ever there was for a drinking session I have heard more sorrys than I would have liked but I have always kept the notion that the promises that my partner gives to me are true altough I have never seen 1 of these promises bieng kept. So what do I do? according to what I have read from those of you who are problem drinkers I should run for the hills, but why should I? that would mean you would win because you would just blame it on the Gin/rum/whisky/vodka or whatever your tipple is I not only have a deep love for my partner I also know what they are going through for i truly believe that I have been to the pits of dispair with them. The very idea that I would know even a little of what they feel would horrify them but here i am at my wits end loving someone who truly does not care about themselves and truly does not know how I feel about this because this problem (in thier head) only affects them not anyone even remotly close to them
I am sorry for twittering on but I really want all of you to know what it is like from the other side of the fence
I also wish each and every one of you my thoughts and prayers for a peaceful recovery you all are doing really well
good luck
blue x

[lushy]

Mrs Macks my story

Blue, I appreciate what it took for you to post that. The bottom line is that if you do not have a problem with alcohol there is absolutely no way you can understand the wiring in "drinkers" brains. We do not choose this for ourselves, but some of us want to change it. Others do not. Your partner DOES feel horribly about what he is doing to you, he DOES feel horrible the day after he drank too much, but his brain is screaming out for more because that is how his brain is wired. He DOES want to keep those promises to you. He really, really does. If you do not have this addiction it is impossible to understand. I say to my friends it is like trying to explain PMS to a man. It cannot be understood because they will never go through it.

You said that if you leave him then the alcohol wins. I would suggest leaving only if he does want to address his drinking problem and actually do something about it. If he has no deisire to change then, yes, I would suggest running as fast as you can. If he wants to make a change and you are a patient person then I would advise you to stick it out if you love him as much as you say.

I am sorry as a non drinker you do not understand this. I was not a heavy drinker until after college and in college I had an alcoholic boyfriend and I was disgusted by him and could never understand how he could not go without a drink. Now I get it. It runs in my family and sadly I inherited those genes. But I am aware of the problem and I am making steps to change. Hopefully your partner will want that as well.

Please let us know how it turns out for you and him.

[Mrs Macks]

Mrs Macks my story

Hi Blue,
:welcome:
I know how difficult this is for you, please please don't give up on him, he has an addicition he needs you much more than you'll ever know. Its not all in his head beleive me, Its the body that needs the alcohol.
I promise you he does'nt mean to hurt ive heard SORRY so many times too, I've even said i was going to leave him. Just talk to him, help him, stick by him.
How long have you been together ? do you have any children ?, please don't give up on him.
When he's sober try and get him to open up to you, there are people who can help you both. He just has to make the first move, and you have to try and help him. He does'nt do it on purpose, how long has he been drinking ? Is there any other alcoholics in his family ? Please keep posting i'm on the other side of that fence too, your not on your own anymore everyone here is brilliant My husband also posts on here and everyone helps him get through the toughest nights, he's been AF for 5 days now and i'm so so proud of him. You are in my thoughts and prayers don't runaway, try and face this together love to you all...

:l Mrs Macks

[Mrs Macks]

Mrs Macks my story

Right the kids are in bed, Macks is sorting out his fishing tackle and i have peace and quite...so heres goes..
Here's the rest of my story..
Mack's drinking started to get worse in 1998. He could only talk to me about his problem, I had no-body to talk to. We just got on with it...3 litres of cider every night. I felt upset and alone, we could'nt even have a proper conversation because it would turn into an arguement. He could'nt of stopped drinking even if he wanted to by this time, he depended on it. I was on my own left to sort the kids out, because he knew they would be ok, because i was there to sort them out at night. After 5.00pm it was all up to me. I was so sick of his drinking by then, his selfishness, his broken promises and his sorry's. So many times i just wanted to get up and leave him...but i did'nt, because i love him, he needed me just as much as i needed him. I knew it was really bad when the kids got very poorly both asthamatics, he would still drink, and i'd stay awake looking after ours boys. In Feburary 2006 i did'nt sleep for two weeks and he knew this, but his addiction got the better of him. In 2006 i asked him if he would go and see our doctor, but he said NO, i did'nt give up though i kept asking now and again, until one day out of the blue, he said to me Lisa i have a drinking problem, will you make an appointment for me to see the doctor, I've never ran so fast. He seen our doctor in March 2006, who shock his hand and said well done thats the tough part over, the doctor referred him to a councellor. He was a lovely man, i went with Macks a couple of times so i knew what was going on aswell. He gave both of us all the help we needed. I read up on everything, i would and still will do anything to keep Macks sober. First he started to cut down by drinking normal strength lager 5%, starting with 6 cans, then every week he would cut down by one can, going 6-5-4-3-2 then he thought there's no point in having two cans so he stopped. One thing the doctor told us was NEVER just stop drinking because its not safe, it can cause you're body to go into shock, and beleive me by the sounds of it thats not good. After a few days Macks went back to the councellor because he found it really really hard. We both went together and boy was we in for a shock, he referred Macks to a hospital specially for people with addictions. The shock for us was he would be leaving in about 5 days time. It took awhile to sink in but when we both sat in the car for about 10 minutes the tears just flowed.....and flowed. The thing was he was going to be away from me and the kids for 12 days, and me and Macks have only spent about 6 days apart in the 14 years we've been together. So the tears were still flowing. We did'nt tell the kids till the night before and that did'nt go down to well either, their all daddy's babies. On the 2nd of June 2006 Macks went into hospital. 12 days dragged....But we phoned and texted each other everyday. When he got back he brought back the old Macks, the Macks i met 14 years ago..now our lives have changed so much and my house is a much happier place to be in...

[lushy]

Mrs Macks my story

It is such a good thing that Macks was ready for the change. The person drinking has to want it bad enough, not just because someone else wants it for them. Good on both of you for working so hard at your relationship. A lot of women would have been running away........