The answer to this question is personal.
For me, we got along famously when he wasn't overdrinking. We fought little about any other subject: not money, children, religion, etc. We work together and that put me in a position to cover for him at work often. On the other hand, it also gave us more opportunity to deal with things so that muscle was strengthened for huge things like this.
Being married made it easier for me since the promise of making it thru thick and thin had already been made. That doesn't mean I would have stayed if he had been abusive. I learned not to have certain types of discussions with him when he was overdrinking. I have heard family members here use the term "walking on eggshells" and I can certainly relate.
When one is sick certain boundaries that would otherwise never be crossed seem to disappear. More apt to be angry, possibly violent, thoughts of suicide, etc. Basic standards of self-dignity are gone. We all have needs, sometimes we just have to check ourselves on whether those needs are sick or healthy.
I felt that if I was not married than my options would have been easier. But when he wasn't overusing, he made me laugh. I felt adored; listened to and understood; appreciated; inspired and challenged. No relationship is perfect. We each have our thang to deal with for the rest of our lives, that thang that will require constant managing. The pros still outweighed the cons.
Just wanted to share. Dx
For me, we got along famously when he wasn't overdrinking. We fought little about any other subject: not money, children, religion, etc. We work together and that put me in a position to cover for him at work often. On the other hand, it also gave us more opportunity to deal with things so that muscle was strengthened for huge things like this.
Being married made it easier for me since the promise of making it thru thick and thin had already been made. That doesn't mean I would have stayed if he had been abusive. I learned not to have certain types of discussions with him when he was overdrinking. I have heard family members here use the term "walking on eggshells" and I can certainly relate.
When one is sick certain boundaries that would otherwise never be crossed seem to disappear. More apt to be angry, possibly violent, thoughts of suicide, etc. Basic standards of self-dignity are gone. We all have needs, sometimes we just have to check ourselves on whether those needs are sick or healthy.
I felt that if I was not married than my options would have been easier. But when he wasn't overusing, he made me laugh. I felt adored; listened to and understood; appreciated; inspired and challenged. No relationship is perfect. We each have our thang to deal with for the rest of our lives, that thang that will require constant managing. The pros still outweighed the cons.
Just wanted to share. Dx
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