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    DEVASTATED

    I'm pretty devastated tonight :upset: I've come to a conclusion for myself to understand....Macks is having a tough time lately, I went upstairs tonight and cried my heart out (it was a cry like when i lost my nana i am heart broken) I sat in the bathroom and started thinking alcoholisium is like cancer, the sort of cancer that stays and is not going to go away...no matter how hard you try. I got told a month ago my cousins wife has cancer she is the same age as me..(30) and she is a doctor, she has wrote loads of books about cancer and now she has it and its not going to go away..:upset:

    Macks said to me earlier tonight, i don't have to live with it....and i said yes i do because i want you, life would'nt be worth living if it was'nt for my Macks we need each other, like a fish needs water...

    Love you all, a heart hurting Lisa XX :l
    Elvis is'nt dead, he's in my broom cupboard ....

    #2
    DEVASTATED

    Mrs Macks - no it wont go away - this is a disease that is with us forever now - but you know what, with someone like you in his life he can live with it - times seem hard now but there will be a time when you will look back and say well we went through it and now we live. You live and love we can see you but we can feel the love that you both feel for each other - so if nothing can save us LOVE can and you both have this place and the love.

    So please don?t be sad -
    Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending

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      #3
      DEVASTATED

      Oh Lisa, I am sorry you are so sad. I do not know what to say. Just know I am thinking of both you and Macks. Maybe there is another level of support, i.e., a therapist that could help him/you? :l
      I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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        #4
        DEVASTATED

        Thanks Kimmy and Lushy :h

        I love Macks more than life itself, i just get so frustrated not being able to help him......Lushy thats a good idea about the therapist xx
        Elvis is'nt dead, he's in my broom cupboard ....

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          #5
          DEVASTATED

          Mrs Macks,
          Determinator is doing so well. I know that if he slips he will be more devastated than I will be. I know that he will be so disappointed in himself since there has been so much investment and success. I know what it's like to think that you cannot take one more day of this. But we love our husbands. And we cannot imagine our lives without them. After being married for as long as you two have, you understand that you don't always wake up in love everyday. Somedays you slug thru the committment aspect of marriage. I have read enough of your postings to know that you are committed and in love and just having a really crappy day. Stay strong, lady. We are sending magic fairy dust your way.
          * * I love Determinator * *

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            #6
            DEVASTATED

            My heart breaks for the two of you. You guys are so fortunate to have one another.
            Sometimes I wonder...."Why is that frisbee getting bigger?"...and then it hits me.

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              #7
              DEVASTATED

              Determinatrix, You are so right....yes i am having a crappy day i just feel down right useless... i'm tired, i keep crying, hope you've sent alot of magic fairy dust...i'm sssooo glad i have you lot to talk too...:h otherwise i think i would go insane

              XX


              Thanks PP....I guess sometimes we take eachother for granted xx
              Elvis is'nt dead, he's in my broom cupboard ....

              Comment


                #8
                DEVASTATED

                [ame= ]YouTube - Had A Bad Day[/ame]

                I think someone is watching over me......I've heard this song about 5 times today....and my mum just e-mailed it to me just now...(spooky)
                Elvis is'nt dead, he's in my broom cupboard ....

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                  #9
                  DEVASTATED

                  Lisa, my thoughts go out to you and Mr. Macks. I know you're scared and am betting he is too - none of us with this on ourselves or the ones we love.

                  Hugs to both of you.
                  Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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                    #10
                    DEVASTATED

                    Best wishes, Lisa! My thoughts and prayers are with you both.
                    Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

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                      #11
                      DEVASTATED

                      Lisa I wish the very best for both of you. We love you both!
                      "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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                        #12
                        DEVASTATED

                        Mrs Macks,

                        What I needed from family & friends was for them to meet me ringside, sit me down on the stool,
                        clean up the cuts, splash some water on my face, them slap me on the arse and send me back in for another round.

                        Go get 'em champ!
                        * * I love Determinator * *

                        Comment


                          #13
                          DEVASTATED

                          Lisa,

                          No matter what we will always be here for you.

                          It seems Macks was doing better with abstinence, maybe a therapist and a different medication will help.

                          I know the Kudzu 2,700 mgs a day helps me a whole lot. Along with a vision of waking up with a clear conscience, and not loathing myself the next day.

                          Macks has to wrap his mind around getting better.

                          Macks, I know you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again, it is worth it.........

                          Hugs for you both:l
                          :h :h :h :h

                          Comment


                            #14
                            DEVASTATED

                            You know what guys...you don't know how it means to be-able to come here, and say exactly how i'm feeling:upset: I'll take everyones advice put it all together and see what i get....still feeling pretty emotional Macks is out fishing for the evening...and i'm having some me time, which does'nt happen very often, it gives me time to think about things....
                            Love you all to pieces..:h

                            :l 's Lisa XX

                            Mrs D, i've got my gloves on XX
                            Elvis is'nt dead, he's in my broom cupboard ....

                            Comment


                              #15
                              DEVASTATED

                              Lisa:
                              I don't know you and Macks all that well...does he take the supps or Topa? Would he go that route? i know the Topa made a BIG difference for me with almost no side effects. If he already did that stuff, just ignore the question. But don't ignore the fact that we are all here hoping the best for you both!
                              Learning to live life on the outside of a bottle. :flower:

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