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on my own with the kids and loving it!

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    #1

    on my own with the kids and loving it!

    i'm new here and got rid of my kids dad for the last time about 4 weeks ago after almost 17 years together.he wasn't there much anyway always up the pub so there's not really much difference except he won't come in and ruin things so we can watch and do whatever we want .i'm really fine as long as i don't see or speak to him but am quite bored at night when the kids go to bed. i told him to go when he said personal things to the kids about me which i'll never forgive him for ( i almost thank him for giving me reason never ever to see him again!) he got off drink for 8 weeks last year until xmas eve when we were both itching for a drink. i was getting texts left right and centre from my friends to go out and refused as i didnt want to rub it in. we only had a little and said it was cos of xmas but i went away for new year and the day i went he was drinking again (the kids told me) then the next and it gradually built up as usual. he had come to see the kids in october when we were seperated saying he couldnt handle things and was going to his mums who doesnt drink so i knew he was serious and said i'd help. before i knew it he was taking over the telly and making himself at home but as he wasnt drinking i kept quiet. i just feel used after all these years and that people MUST say "god she's not taken him back again has she? what afool" and regret that i'm almost 40 and spent so much of my life unhappy stressed and a nervous wreck and now i am angry that he's still doing it and has seen his kids once properly in the last 4 weeks. funny thing is theyre not that bothered anymore. i dont want anyone to tell me it's not really him it's a disease, i need the anger to stop me feeling sorry for him and wasting my time taking him back and to make me see that i don't miss or need him and to let me see things clearly. there's only so much humiliation and hurt you can take.
    ps i haven't bitten my nails for about 10 days which is a first in over 30 years cos i'm properly relaxed for the first time ever! oh and my kids are too!
    sorry if i confused you there!
    x
    you think you're a nobody and I have all the fun but no-one is a nobody - everyone is someone - slf
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    #2
    on my own with the kids and loving it!

    You sound like you have already made your decision, and from this end it sounds like a good one for your family.

    I don't adhere to the idea that alcoholism is a disease but of course you will get differing opinions here. Everyone here is logical though, and no one will want you to be with someone that makes you so unhappy and is verbally abusive. I am very happy that you are finally happy and starting your new life for you and your kiddies...Camper :h :goodjob:

    By the way your subject line says EVERYTHING!!!!
    Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL

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      #3
      on my own with the kids and loving it!

      I certainly am glad that your life and your children's life have found some peace. That is the most important thing in my book.
      "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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        #4
        on my own with the kids and loving it!

        I second and third what has been said. You and your children deserve happiness and peace in your home. I wish you all the best.

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          #5
          on my own with the kids and loving it!

          Normally when people have a disease they do what they can to get better, they don't just wander about saying 'its beyond my control, you'll have to put up with it'.

          I'm glad things are better for you and the kids
          Suz
          Happy to be sober since 07 Sept 09.

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            #6
            on my own with the kids and loving it!

            You've done the right thing. The drinking is HIS problem, you have to deal with YOUR probelms - and he was one of them!! So Congratulations, you are a champion!

            I've been on my own with two girls for 10 years now and I still love it and I'm still grateful that that man is out of my life.

            Keep looking forward and enjoy what's coming!

            Flip
            It always seems impossible until it's done....

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              #7
              on my own with the kids and loving it!

              Hey mrsbadcrumble,

              I may be very mistaken... but are you called Mrs Badcrumble because you are an Eddie Izzard fan???

              Gem x
              Free since 26th February 2012

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                #8
                on my own with the kids and loving it!

                WOW! I'm sitting here with a big grin and tears running down my face! Just read all your comments and they all choked me up never expected that at all Thanks never had support like that before People usually want to say what they think you want to hear but they were just pure support! Thanks again you made my day!
                Oh and never put a sock in a toaster weasle weasle! does that answer your question Gita?!
                xxx
                you think you're a nobody and I have all the fun but no-one is a nobody - everyone is someone - slf

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                  #9
                  on my own with the kids and loving it!

                  Another thing....!

                  Just thinking they say alcoholics need to hit rock bottom to recover but I think the same goes for families and friends sometimes x
                  you think you're a nobody and I have all the fun but no-one is a nobody - everyone is someone - slf

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                    #10
                    on my own with the kids and loving it!

                    That can be the case. Living with an alcoholic affects everyone involved. The problem is not only the alcoholic's but it becomes everyone's problem.

                    You are doing what is best for you and your children. It takes a very strong person to stop the madness!

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                      #11
                      on my own with the kids and loving it!

                      You may want to check out Al-Anon or a CODA meeting ...
                      It always seems impossible until it's done....

                      Comment

                        #12
                        on my own with the kids and loving it!

                        I agree that the madness has to stop and that is up to you. You need to think of yourself and your children and I give you so much credit for that. You have so much great advice here, I don't think I can add much more.
                        Just remember to be true to yourself and be true to your children and help them break the cycle. Much respect to you.
                        "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

                        Comment

                          #13
                          on my own with the kids and loving it!

                          Hello mrsbadcrumble,
                          I can only agree with what has been said.
                          Thanks for coming.:welcome:

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                            #14
                            on my own with the kids and loving it!

                            Thanks for coming - and frankly it can only get better now. It's a new start for you.

                            welcome to now and here!
                            Paddy
                            Time's fun when you're having flies. - Kermit the Frog - eace:

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