I am determined to change the way society treats alcoholics and the way the medical community sweeps them under the rug and the way the courts process alcoholics thru the system. Alcoholics have uncontrolled behaviors by cravings so powerful by a mind altering drug, alcohol. Every thought even while not drinking is connected to the cravings of a alcoholic. The brain is always thinking, always driven by one thing before all others alcohol. Ways to sabotage any attempts for sobriety for any length of time . Life is a madness only driven by the addiction and the mind of an alcoholic.
I was hit by a drunk driver my husband was killed. I was in a coma for weeks & now my son is a black out drunk.
Some alcoholics have expressed that I am too harsh on others who complain or beg for a way to stop drinking. Then in the next breath state that they can controll their drinking or are "just" binge drinkers..they are functional and not as bad as my son. When I see that I see a lot of denial leading to more madness. I have seen more erratic behaviors spiraling downwards to a very dark & lonely, painful place no one would ever want to be in.
I don't sugar coat anything and state my experiences and my truths. Niceties is never going to convince any alcoholic to stop. Or aligning with their sympathies & excuses,nor pushing or forcing or bullying or by a lightening strike from a higher belief above. It's gotta come from within the individual to find all the pain buried in their very soul that drives the anxiety, & the pain to self medicate. Only then will entering rehab help them find sobriety.
I speak in my reality from my life experience to share my pain on this thread. This is how alcohol is now my pain & my reality. Never dreaming it would draw my life to so much pain, despair and sorrow that my family and I would have to struggle with daily.
If my story could open one heart addicted to substance abuse and to find peace and recovery, that is a huge positive outcome. That's what its all about. I really don't care how they get sober and stay sober just as long as the do.
In reality most alcoholics the drinking stories begin with the social drinkers, but then it is a progressive disease & continues thru to the madness. It's all the same basic issue controlled cravings, addiction and denial. There are times when the life of a alcoholic is nothing but lying , stealing and the manipulation of others to get that drink.
I was hit by a drunk driver who almost killed me and killed my husband, who was only 29 years old. Hit by a teen at a stop sign just 2 blocks from our home. The teen was on the way home from a night of drinking. I struggled for over a year thru rehab to learn how to walk, talk,read and write. I lost everything my home my job & my health. That's the impact of one drunk driver on my entire life.
I was in a coma for three weeks.Still years later suffer daily, physically from damage to my body from that crushing accident many years ago.
I joined MADD, ( Mothers Against Drunk Drivers).. Later after the accident I remarried. Supported MADD with my boys who volunteered thru their high school years. I was 3 months pregnant and lost the baby I was carrying and my husband at the time of the accident when a drunk driver hit us at a stop sign. I Never would have imagined that I would be a mother of the very thing I despised. A drunk behind the wheel. I would have never imagined in a million years that years later my son would be one of those drunk drivers. He has not had a liscence for over 20 years thank GOD. He still continues to drive.....even though he has no vehicle.
Yes my story is heartbreaking and unfortunately true. I haven't tried to shock alcoholics on this thread by accusing anyone of this story being part of their lives ,YET! I say YET because If the drinking continues, it could be a part of their lives.
Even an earthquake cannot shake them from the drink of denial. There is a huge denial reaction which I always expect when I tell my story. "Oh I'll never get that bad!" Or simply ignoring consequences back in denial. Never could they possibility be ..."that"...out of control. This story could very well end up to be one their stories with the same heartbreaking ending. Some alcoholics find sobriety,most never do.
Some alcoholics believe they can control or cut down on their drinking and will never end up like my son. I always come back with,"" ADD YET ""..on the end of these sentences ..I am not a black out drunk YET...or I have never been in jail...YET...or I have never killed anyone...YET... or I never lost my job....YET...or lost my family and home...YET !
For some reason the so called "controll thinking" alcoholics have is that it's all fingered out down to the color of Wiskey vs clear Vodka and alcohol content of beer to lower toxic withdrawl. What they don't realize is the harsh reality is that my son thought the exact same way many years ago. He could control his drinking & he thought he was smarter than everyone and hide bottles and alcohol in places he had access to when he needed them. He knew where all the bars were and the hangouts with all the social drinkers-buddies . My beautiful son...my beautiful child..I don't even recognize him ..I will always love him. There is no shame in becoming addicted. The shame is finding sobriety and throwing it away.
My son ended up on life support at 32 years old. I can never get that picture out of my mind.
After 2 weeks on life support another 3 in recovery, he was released. Started the same Alcoholic patterns again.. And the beat goes on.....
My question is how long does a life lost in drinking, the mind lost to drinking , lost in the behaviors of drinking & lost to severe mental illness ...before they get help? This is so sad so many people with addictions are waiting for help and seldom receive it & are treated like a dog by the justice system. The system sees alcohol they don't see the mental illness. They blame the drinker not the drink! Most are given a 30 day treatment program which is never enough, others are left with no where to turn. But why deny the chance for life for a drink?
I hope and pray that the the powers that be change how alcoholics are treated and the social stigma in society. You never hear a advertisement a fund raiser for, "A walk for alcoholics."
It's a disease not a popular one....YET ....It is the number one disease in the world.
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I have forgiven that young man who hit us years ago and changed my life forever.
I have forgiven my son and myself. I share this story with u to let you know how alcohol can kill in so many, many different ways.
PEACE
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