Extract from "Here We Are" by Dorothy Parker. Newlyweds on a train going to New York for their honeymoon. They have their whole lives ahead of them - and have nothing to say to each other...
"Well!" the young man said.
"Well!" she said.
"Well, here we are," he said.
"Here we are," she said. "Aren't we?"
"I should say we were," he said.
"Well!" she said.
"Well!" he said. "Well. How does it feel to be an old married lady?"
"Oh, it's to soon to ask me that," she said. "Well, I mean, goodness, we've only been married about three hours, haven't we?"
"We have been married," he said, "exactly two hours and twenty-six minutes."
"My," she said. "It seems like longer."
And an extract from "Do Not Disturb" by AM Homes (who I love), a darkly humorous story about a couple whose marriage is falling apart and they spend their time sniping at each other. The wife is a hospital doctor and she comes home from work and is telling her husband about a suicide who was brought in that day - a man who jumped out of the window to get away from his wife:
"He was having an argument with his wife," she says. "Imagine her standing in the living room, in the middle of a sentence, and out the window he goes. Imagine her not having a chance to finish her thought?"
"Yes, imagine, not being able to have the last word. Did she try to stop him?" I ask.