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[NoSugar]

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Thanks, Free!

I think this is such a great, tangible metaphor for what we've all gone through or are going through. It helps so much to relate the experience to something that we've already been challenged by and accomplished --- it gives us another set of tools.

I've only white water rafted with a guide (who I was very happy to be with!) but there are many experienced guides to help us here, too, so no one has to do it alone.

:h NS

[NoSugar]

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Thanks, Free!

I think this is such a great, tangible metaphor for what we've all gone through or are going through. It helps so much to relate the experience to something that we've already been challenged by and accomplished --- it gives us another set of tools.

I've only white water rafted with a guide (who I was very happy to be with!) but there are many experienced guides to help us here, too, so no one has to do it alone.

:h NS

[Wine-no!]

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Thanks Free for that post.
I found white water rafting absolutely terrifying! Oh the irony!

[Wine-no!]

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Thanks Free for that post.
I found white water rafting absolutely terrifying! Oh the irony!

[Byrdlady]

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Reposted with permission by GMS:

When we fall from the big ship sobriety and are in the dark cold waters you see a life boat, on the side in big letters is MWO. If you reach out your hand, a hundred hands will take it and hold you. You know already that hauling yourself into the lifeboat takes the most effort and only you can do that bit. But we won't let go of you I promise.

Just as you have held so many others on here in the past.

I spent decades believing I was different somehow, my problem was only a bad habit was my favourite thought.

I once had an adult mind to child mind conversation with myself " if you don't drink in the week then you're allowed to drink in moderation at the weekends" I persuaded myself. "However one drink on a weekday and you've blown it, you will ruin everything". It was exactly how you may talk to a child who wanted more sweets. The perfect solution! But it doesn't work like that, not at all, unfortunately for all of us it sure doesn't work anything like that.

One question I've always struggled with is the cigarette quitting conundrum. What I mean is that no one quits smoking with the idea that somehow they can moderate later. Sure there's a few smokers who seem to be able to smoke the odd one but mostly the more time you go without a fag the better until one day you no longer think about them at all. Well that's my experience.

Anyhow Hadit welcome back and look forward to your wisdom once again. God knows I need all the wisdom and advice I can get.

God Speed GMS

[Byrdlady]

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Reposted with permission by GMS:

When we fall from the big ship sobriety and are in the dark cold waters you see a life boat, on the side in big letters is MWO. If you reach out your hand, a hundred hands will take it and hold you. You know already that hauling yourself into the lifeboat takes the most effort and only you can do that bit. But we won't let go of you I promise.

Just as you have held so many others on here in the past.

I spent decades believing I was different somehow, my problem was only a bad habit was my favourite thought.

I once had an adult mind to child mind conversation with myself " if you don't drink in the week then you're allowed to drink in moderation at the weekends" I persuaded myself. "However one drink on a weekday and you've blown it, you will ruin everything". It was exactly how you may talk to a child who wanted more sweets. The perfect solution! But it doesn't work like that, not at all, unfortunately for all of us it sure doesn't work anything like that.

One question I've always struggled with is the cigarette quitting conundrum. What I mean is that no one quits smoking with the idea that somehow they can moderate later. Sure there's a few smokers who seem to be able to smoke the odd one but mostly the more time you go without a fag the better until one day you no longer think about them at all. Well that's my experience.

Anyhow Hadit welcome back and look forward to your wisdom once again. God knows I need all the wisdom and advice I can get.

God Speed GMS

[NoSugar]

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Repost to encourage posting for success

Some people found this helpful - I hope others do, too:
-----------------------------------------------------

Posting daily can feel daunting or embarrassing or you might feel like you have nothing to add to the conversation.

Forget all that AND JUST MAKE YOURSELF DO IT!

Ask questions and get advice. Run your AF plan by people who have "been there" and can spot the flaws. Tell your story - I dee-double dare you to try to shock this group that has already either done that, seen it happen, or read about it here - the welcome truth is that you are not the only one.

Post your agreement with someone else's words or explain to the group how and why your point of view differs (see Byrdie dissing me above :H!). None of us have 'the answer' - we just have ideas about what can work for some people. Of course it will be different for everyone but you can learn a lot from others' successes and failures. Offer your ideas - you might say it in just the right way for a person who needs that message to hear.

Even when there is no solution or idea to offer, let a poster who is hurting know that you heard his or her words and that s/he is not alone and that you care.

Welcome first time posters. Tell them what MWO has done for you. Offer them hope and invite them to the nest.

Sometimes joke around. This is deadly serious business but a few laughs can lighten the burden.

MWO is an online forum. For it to really work for you, you have to use what it offers and that means POSTING - engage in the process and with the people here. Make a commitment that is bigger than the one most of us failed to accomplish on our own. The tools and support you need are here but it is up to each of us to actively USE them.

I used to be embarrassed about how much I posted but since I could tell MWO was working for me, I was afraid to stop. I listened to Byrdie and Kuya who encouraged posting and I truly believe it has made all the difference.

Let us know you! We want to hear what you have to say.

[NoSugar]

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Repost to encourage posting for success

Some people found this helpful - I hope others do, too:
-----------------------------------------------------

Posting daily can feel daunting or embarrassing or you might feel like you have nothing to add to the conversation.

Forget all that AND JUST MAKE YOURSELF DO IT!

Ask questions and get advice. Run your AF plan by people who have "been there" and can spot the flaws. Tell your story - I dee-double dare you to try to shock this group that has already either done that, seen it happen, or read about it here - the welcome truth is that you are not the only one.

Post your agreement with someone else's words or explain to the group how and why your point of view differs (see Byrdie dissing me above :H!). None of us have 'the answer' - we just have ideas about what can work for some people. Of course it will be different for everyone but you can learn a lot from others' successes and failures. Offer your ideas - you might say it in just the right way for a person who needs that message to hear.

Even when there is no solution or idea to offer, let a poster who is hurting know that you heard his or her words and that s/he is not alone and that you care.

Welcome first time posters. Tell them what MWO has done for you. Offer them hope and invite them to the nest.

Sometimes joke around. This is deadly serious business but a few laughs can lighten the burden.

MWO is an online forum. For it to really work for you, you have to use what it offers and that means POSTING - engage in the process and with the people here. Make a commitment that is bigger than the one most of us failed to accomplish on our own. The tools and support you need are here but it is up to each of us to actively USE them.

I used to be embarrassed about how much I posted but since I could tell MWO was working for me, I was afraid to stop. I listened to Byrdie and Kuya who encouraged posting and I truly believe it has made all the difference.

Let us know you! We want to hear what you have to say.

[Elvis]

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Reposting from the Newbies Nest:

Elvis;1549336 wrote: I can tell by the old calendar on the wall that today is... Day 30!

Although I haven't posted much lately, I love having this forum close by and love reading posts from the wonderful people on it who don't judge or criticize. Your posts and responses help me more than you know.

To the newbies and others starting out, you will read it multiple times from the veterans on the forum, but I will also echo it from my experience - stick with it, it becomes easier over time. Yes, I still think about alcohol every day, but it is considerably less and less as time goes by. My Alcoholic Voice is still bugging me occasionally for just one sip and telling me lies that I can one day moderate again. The good thing is my Alcoholic Voice is powerless unless I act upon it, and the more I tell my Alcoholic Voice "NO!" the easier it gets and the weaker it becomes.

Some reflections: (in no order)
1. Removing all of the alcohol from the house - It is all too tempting to keep alcohol around. Even out of habit, you may just reach for your favorite poison. One sip leads to one drink with leads to one bottle.

2. Keeping busy - Now that I'm not drinking all my free time away, I have time and energy to do stuff again! I started going the gym again. I started a couch to 5K running program, and I've even signed up for two 5K races in October! I started going out and hanging out with friends again. I've started projects that are long overdue. I've cleaned the house from top to bottom so many times, I'm sure it sparkles. :H

3. The support of my wife - In my opinion, having someone you trust and can confide in is essential, especially at the beginnig. It took me multiple failed attempts to realize this.

4. Make a plan - I went to my first real party this past weekend since I quit. I brought along a six pack of Kaliber (NA beer) and gave it to the bartender. I told her when I came to the bar and asked for a beer, she was to give me the Kaliber. It worked out great! I got to participate in the party, remember everything, was able to drive myself home, and woke up the next morning refreshed and full of energy.

[Elvis]

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Reposting from the Newbies Nest:

Elvis;1549336 wrote: I can tell by the old calendar on the wall that today is... Day 30!

Although I haven't posted much lately, I love having this forum close by and love reading posts from the wonderful people on it who don't judge or criticize. Your posts and responses help me more than you know.

To the newbies and others starting out, you will read it multiple times from the veterans on the forum, but I will also echo it from my experience - stick with it, it becomes easier over time. Yes, I still think about alcohol every day, but it is considerably less and less as time goes by. My Alcoholic Voice is still bugging me occasionally for just one sip and telling me lies that I can one day moderate again. The good thing is my Alcoholic Voice is powerless unless I act upon it, and the more I tell my Alcoholic Voice "NO!" the easier it gets and the weaker it becomes.

Some reflections: (in no order)
1. Removing all of the alcohol from the house - It is all too tempting to keep alcohol around. Even out of habit, you may just reach for your favorite poison. One sip leads to one drink with leads to one bottle.

2. Keeping busy - Now that I'm not drinking all my free time away, I have time and energy to do stuff again! I started going the gym again. I started a couch to 5K running program, and I've even signed up for two 5K races in October! I started going out and hanging out with friends again. I've started projects that are long overdue. I've cleaned the house from top to bottom so many times, I'm sure it sparkles. :H

3. The support of my wife - In my opinion, having someone you trust and can confide in is essential, especially at the beginnig. It took me multiple failed attempts to realize this.

4. Make a plan - I went to my first real party this past weekend since I quit. I brought along a six pack of Kaliber (NA beer) and gave it to the bartender. I told her when I came to the bar and asked for a beer, she was to give me the Kaliber. It worked out great! I got to participate in the party, remember everything, was able to drive myself home, and woke up the next morning refreshed and full of energy.

[Emmy Lou]

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WIP...your post about surfing the urge is AMAZING!!! Thankyou...I can really use this.
x

[Emmy Lou]

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WIP...your post about surfing the urge is AMAZING!!! Thankyou...I can really use this.
x

[Rahulthesweet]

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byrdly lady suggested me that I should post this here is tool box :-

:new:

I can't believe just 30 days back I felt so sick of myself. I felt I was in a pit with no way out. Sitting in a hotel and after drinking more than 10 pints of beer I felt cheated by this AL was till that time my friend (at least I though so.)

I must admit I have been to MWO forums several times saw several posts, but never cared about making an account and start posting. Then one night after drinking too much and waking up early morning with dry throat completely dehydrated and depressed I plunged into these forums ...

It was a pleasant surprise to see so many friends listing and responding and giving advice which I needed the most. And I must thank you guys for giving me strength

Yes :new: so if you also came here are reading this first thing you should is join this forum and post. Share your thoughts your feeling anything.. And when you do so you will feel relaxed as if a load out of your mind is over.

Looking back 30 days I feel so proud of myself ... The feeling which I just cannot describe. I have been promise myself and others almost everyday "I promise I will not drink today" even swear on my kids ... But power of AL ! And here I was in Switzerland during my travels having non alcoholic beer (and not liking the taste of it).

30 days later I have no carving towards AL but yes lots of carving if sugar.

Here is my advice for new comers :
1. Don't tell yourself you are giving up alcohol. For me it's still a difficult thing to accept "I will never drink again" I still cannot digest it. But what I have realised is that during first few weeks it sounded absolutely far fetched and impossible as a tough but now I looks doable or rather "its not a big deal to stay sober."
2. Make sure you stuff your self with food. I used to drink alone most of time in evening. I use to have 8 to 10 favourite places all around my home town where I use to go along drinking. Now I have made a habit that in evening I stuff myself with food so much that amazingly carvings disappear. This will really help you new folks.
3. Post every day on MWO what ever you feel no matter how small just post it. And make it a habit to read the replies and also comfort others to what ever extent you can.
4. Watch you tube videos on how alcohol is bad for you. During past 30 days I read a lot and saw several documentaries on why alcohol is not good and what all it do to damage the brain, it was a strong re enforcement for me.
5. Treat yourself with sweets ice creams etc it working for me.
6. Exercise ... Although I am not doing much should do more but I feel more active and alive after words.

Remember I am just like you and probably much weaker than you. And if I can make it for 30 days then you can too ...

[Rahulthesweet]

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byrdly lady suggested me that I should post this here is tool box :-

:new:

I can't believe just 30 days back I felt so sick of myself. I felt I was in a pit with no way out. Sitting in a hotel and after drinking more than 10 pints of beer I felt cheated by this AL was till that time my friend (at least I though so.)

I must admit I have been to MWO forums several times saw several posts, but never cared about making an account and start posting. Then one night after drinking too much and waking up early morning with dry throat completely dehydrated and depressed I plunged into these forums ...

It was a pleasant surprise to see so many friends listing and responding and giving advice which I needed the most. And I must thank you guys for giving me strength

Yes :new: so if you also came here are reading this first thing you should is join this forum and post. Share your thoughts your feeling anything.. And when you do so you will feel relaxed as if a load out of your mind is over.

Looking back 30 days I feel so proud of myself ... The feeling which I just cannot describe. I have been promise myself and others almost everyday "I promise I will not drink today" even swear on my kids ... But power of AL ! And here I was in Switzerland during my travels having non alcoholic beer (and not liking the taste of it).

30 days later I have no carving towards AL but yes lots of carving if sugar.

Here is my advice for new comers :
1. Don't tell yourself you are giving up alcohol. For me it's still a difficult thing to accept "I will never drink again" I still cannot digest it. But what I have realised is that during first few weeks it sounded absolutely far fetched and impossible as a tough but now I looks doable or rather "its not a big deal to stay sober."
2. Make sure you stuff your self with food. I used to drink alone most of time in evening. I use to have 8 to 10 favourite places all around my home town where I use to go along drinking. Now I have made a habit that in evening I stuff myself with food so much that amazingly carvings disappear. This will really help you new folks.
3. Post every day on MWO what ever you feel no matter how small just post it. And make it a habit to read the replies and also comfort others to what ever extent you can.
4. Watch you tube videos on how alcohol is bad for you. During past 30 days I read a lot and saw several documentaries on why alcohol is not good and what all it do to damage the brain, it was a strong re enforcement for me.
5. Treat yourself with sweets ice creams etc it working for me.
6. Exercise ... Although I am not doing much should do more but I feel more active and alive after words.

Remember I am just like you and probably much weaker than you. And if I can make it for 30 days then you can too ...

[sanchez]

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As suggested by Byrdie - here is my post after receiving the highly coveted 30 day af hat!

One thing I would add to this post is to also try to stay as active as possible. Whether it be cleaning, exercising, cooking, reading, posting on MWO, giving your animals special attention such as a hiking/bathing/grooming, etc. just stay busy and active. Some of the more sedentary types of activities, at least for me, can trigger cravings, so be aware of what those are for you too.

Hope this helps!
************************************************** *********************

Byrdie - your Duck analogies are hilarious! Thank you for my hat - I will paddle around the pond today wearing it with honor!

As for tips and tricks - this site to me is invaluable:
MWO posts and the continual reminder and theme that runs through this site is that alcohol is in fact a POISON! The disease is progressive and deceiving - it seethes into our lives and eventually ruins just about everything if we can't control it. Recognizing we can't control is the first step. I wish I could moderate. To have ONE glass of cab with a great steak would be so nice. However, I know I cannot do it. Not one sip, not one whiff, nada!

The support and knowledge I've learned from this site is wonderful and helps me more than anything. I have not gone to any more AA meetings and I really don't get much support from hubby, so I truly depend on WMO. If I can't get to the site in the morning to read or post, it's the last thing I do before calling it a night.

Because I hit what I call Rock Bottom, my fear of returning to that spot keeps me sober. It was the most embarassing and most dangerous point in my life that could have truly been the end for me. If I reflect on that moment (using the 15 minute AllanK's idea), I can get through a craving.

I never want to say NEVER though because as soon as I do, you know what happens. So, no big proclamations to folks that I've quit drinking. Little by little people are finding out and some are shocked and others give me kudos. Both reactions keep me going - one for embarassment sake and the other for being proud of myself.

Thanks again for the hat! Off for a swim now! Hugs to all!

Hope everyone has a wonderful AF Friday!